two months are up!

my two months is KL are coming to an end. sigh.

when i first got here on the 31st, i was a lil sad for leaving kk. leaving my friends. and i felt like it was such a mistake coming here so early in my holidays and i should spent more time there with my friends. but now looking back, i dont exactly regret spending time here. i mean. i got closer to my sister mandy alot more, i got a closer bond with gpa, i learned more about my self through church and camp and i learnt more about when to study what and how and why through my cousins hann and na and johnson.

two months here. definitely changed my perspectives of life. and i know somewhere down the road its gonna change again. but change is good. sometimes. not all the time.

i've gotten closer to my childhood friends, Jesh and Sherwin. mostly Jesh. i did some work in church. i learnt more about God. how He works and how He has such wonderful humour and how He shows us His power. i learnt more about my spiritual life and God these two months here. i also got to know some of my friends better. Euodia, Melanie, Charis, Melinda. through VBS and youth camp and church.

two months. i thought it would never end at times. how come it feels like sooooo long. now its only a few days away.

the same thing with this year. i thought i had a long way to go with PMR. my parents constantly reminding me making me feel restless about my studies. well, their lectures definitely paid off! I GOT STRAIGHT A'S!!!!!! thinking about it. i would have never in a million years thought i'd get straight A's. i didnt see it coming at all. when i told Feonna this. she hit me on my arm and went. SHUT UP LA JOYCE. HOW CAN YOU EVER THINK LIKE THAT. i was like. WHAT?!?!?!. hahahahaha. for her. its either A's or nothing. like. cause. well she's bright. like really smart. she's kinda like. the person who sets the bar for me. she scores well. i have to score well too. that kinda thing. i know it sounds stupid. but hey. i need to do well to get somewhere in life!

anyhow, two months feels like a week suddenly. so much has happened and taught my lessons in life.

i'm now currently trying to assemble all my things to pack for home. i'm like. lost in a sea of things. ahahahha. i think i need to go out and get another suitcase. i've got loads of stuff here. its insaneeeee. ahahah.

overall, i loved it here. my friends. church. family. its been an awesome trip. VBS. youth camp. and just being at home reading or doing some studies for form four. how it can change from slow snailed to fast paced in half an hour. how you can go from your pjs to your dress and leave the house for a party even though you were informed only by sms a few minutes ago. ahaha. its all so fast and it can change from that to really slow. where there's nothing to do. ahahaha. its so fun.

i'll miss kl. alot of people asked me why not i stay here with my gpa and my sisters? but i guess i'm still growing. so even if i had a choice i'd probably stick with my parents till i'm done with high school. after that, i'll try flying solo. ahaha. i'm so gonna miss all my church friends. the pj people and the subang people. The E.N.D PARTY is something i'll miss too. sigh. there's always pictures. i know. but not able to be there just sucks. ahahahaah.

love,
joyce

Die Hard, Live Free.

hey there. haven't been updating this blog lately. no worries. here i am again.

just came back from Youth Camp yesterday. IT WAS SO FUN!

the first day was funny. woke up at 6.30. packed up all the last minute stuff. left the house for church. i felt so excited and scared at the same time. got there. saw jesh and talked to him. and the journey to Fraser's Hill took THREE HOURS. all of us were busy sleeping, talking, playing on the bus. i talked to Jesh. he's really one of those guys you gotta love. as in. friend wise. he's the most awesome guy friend. he knows exactly what i go through and its one thing that makes me smile most. and when we got to the Pines Resort, i saw three tall guys and this happened.

Jesh/Me
look. good looking foreigners.
them?
yeah. why?
*pulled me towards them*
oi
joyce, this is justin. our CAMP SPEAKER.
justin, this is joyce. a good friend.
ohhhh. haha.

and then when i told all my girl friends. all of them were like. *GASP* YOU'RE LYING?!?!
hahahahaaha. it was hilarious. cause no one thought at all he was our camp speaker. we all thought he was someone's friend or something. ahahahahahah.

Justin Wong. Youth Pastor of Chinese Baptist Church in Houston Texas. PJ Woo and Keith Chan. his good friends. absolutely hilarious la the three of them. their so spontaneous and crazy.

after lunch, we had a short briefing and then ice breakers. Ice breakers were hilarious. ahaha. made a couple of new friends. then we had to know what our punishments were. ahah. it was the YMCA dance. so funny cause my cousin Su-Anne looked so enthusiastic doing it. and the rest of the committee weren't. after that, we found out our teams. my team consisted of Jonathan Ng, team leader, Lauren Chia, assistant, Kevin Thomas, old man, Mark Tan, younger old man, Jeshua, Me, Joshua, Janice, Nicholas Lim, Nicholas Hoo, Claudia. we call both nicholas' by calling them Nicholas square. you know math when you have two of something you square it. yeah that square. ahahahaha. their always together so it fits em perfectly. then there's claudia who is the most bubbly, cute and friendly person ever. janice is in form six which is pretty hard to guess since she's so petite. she's very quiet and a chinese ed by the accent. she's really funny too when she talks. joshua is another quiet dude. super quiet. ahaha. the only time we started realising he was there was skit night. when we were rehearsing and he laughed out loud. ahahhahaha. jonathan's a great leader. he prioritises and makes good decisions and he's a nice guy. lauren's funny and very smart too. ahahah.

after we all made friends, we went to our designated rooms. i shared an apartment with Amanda Shiew, Adrienne Lim, Joanne Leong, Raelene Tan, Charis Wong, Euodia Ong, Melanie Lim and me. most rooms had nine but then girls were comparatively lesser this year so we got a lesser amount of people in the room. haha. but it was still very fun. me euodia mel and charis all stayed in one room. we pushed the two single beds together and slept together. haha.

the first session was intense. justin the speaker. he spoke on how us as christians often persieve the thought of: as long as i believe in Him, whatever i do wrong, he'll forgive us and we'll go to heaven. WRONG. in Romans 1:18-32, it says. that even if we believe and when we sin, the wrath of God builds and we will be thrown into Hell. so no matter what we do, how great of a Christian we are, we will go to Hell. because we are Sinners. WE ARE SINNERS. when the session ended, we were all a bit. overwhelmed. thats the word. because most of us thought as long as we have faith in him and trust in him we'll go to heaven. no. we dont. and he said he'll give us the good news the next day. we thought there wasnt good news. haha.

the second day, we had Treasure hunt. It was AWESOME. ahahaha. only cause we were first to finish. we didnt win. we got second but we were first to finish. ahah. our team practically ran from start to finish. ahahaha. our group. well most of our group were really motivated to win. we ran and ran and ran. and it felt really great running. going up the hill and down the hill. ahah. into the forest and running back out. haha. the leeches were everywhere but thankfully, i didnt get any. ahaha. and then we had little time for ourselves to rest and then it was skit night. we had pj on our team but he didnt help out in skit. our skit won second place! haha. surprisingly enough, hann's didnt. i mean. its like a thing for hann to always win skit. haha. but his team did win the Treasure Hunt. the funny thing is that they came in last. So i guess the saying: slow and steady wins the race does explain his winning. ahaha. the next session, justin explained that in order for us to go to heaven not only do we have to be a good Christian, we have to be a disciple of God. that is to follow the scripture always, listen to His voice, and do things according to His will. and most of us do the church thing. we are good in church, obedient, nice to everyone in church and we spend every sunday in church. but once we're outta there, we're different people. it has to be constant. we have to be constant. not different just cause we're in church.

the third day, we had prayer walk which was very calming. we prayed for multiple things. we prayed for World Hunger, every six minutes a child dies of hunger, thats how sad it is; missionaries, to places where the Gospel is banned from being spread and how we can help and how we should spread the Gospel even at our own country; other faiths, meaning other religions; Child Abuse, Child Labour, the Sins that chain us to Satan, and friends and family that are non believers. we prayed and prayed until it started to pour then we went to shower and had dinner. its amazing how when we're there. it seems we're able to jam pack our life with so many activities that teach us how our actions have consequences and how our life in Malaysia is so easy while others are struggling and the rest of the world is crying in pain. and how our mistakes can be forgiven once we confess, ask for forgiveness and repent from our sins. that night, i cried. that night, i felt a pounding in my heart. that night i knew, all the sins i had done. the mistakes. the lies and the traps i had set out. all of it had to be confessed to the Lord. i knew. i cried and cried because i knew. its what He would have wanted me to do. i knew this year i had done many wrong doings. i confessed and prayed for forgiveness. i even apologized to people in church for what i had done wrong. mistreated them even though it wasnt their fault. i thought of my gma. how i used to take her for granted. used to think how she would always be there for me. she would always smile at me, laugh at my chinese and make fun of how fat i am and how she would always pinch my arms and call me chubby. haha. i cried thinking. if i havent had lost her, if she were still here, if she was well. she isn't here. she's with Jesus now. she's happy and healthy with Him and i should be happy. i should learn to move on. but its hard. she was my motivation to study. and now she's my motivation to be a Doctor more than ever. i wanna make her feel proud of me. i wanna let her know that when i become a doctor. all her letters to me and her advice wasn't for nothing. it was for something. i'm worth something. i wasnt a mistake.

the last day, everyone was a bit reluctant to leave. we had all grown so used to each other. so used to having wake up with a bunch of your friends. seeing em all so happy and loud and crazy. but everythings ends in the end. we took pics with alot of people and on the bus down, we were perhaps the only bus to not have anyone throw up. ahaha. we played alot of empire and cho dai di. i didnt play cho dai di. i watched. i might play one day. from all the advice and rules from rick, charis and julian. perhaps. ahahaha. and it was funny cause when the bus arrived in church, everyone ran down from the bus. and i was slow and all with jesh and a few other guys. and joshua, joseph's brother noticed that joseph left his iTouch in the netting area of the seat. ahahahaha. i took it and we told joseph that he might have left his iTouch in the bus. he ran up and halfway there i shouted: hey joseph, does your iTouch look like this? . he was like oh son of a gun. ahahahahahaha. his australian accent is funny.

anyhow, i realize i need to change. not only for myself. but also to be a better person with others and God. i need to learn to be a more serious person in church in school at home. it cant be all play no work. next year, it will be like that. i promise you. i will be better. stronger. smarter.

love,
joyce

talks.

i lost my train on thought on what i was supposed to write about. i was talking to someone but then i got defensive and i shut him off cause i couldnt take it. sometimes. words can be so sharp they pierce right through your heart and stay there for a while. its kinda frustrating. i wish i could be one of those people who have thick skin and all and like. not feel that much pain nor sadness. that would be a bit easier now wouldnt it folks? well. life's not fair. so suck it up and spit it out before it swallows you. sigh. i forgot what i wanted to say. anyhow, miss you kkians. got this reunion thingy in my facebook events. should i go? i dunno. i dont think i wanna dwell nor hold on to my past. we've all changed. sigh.

joyce. anger. confusion. giggles.

fat. not flat.

look. i said i'm sorry. argh. nvm. you've always hated me anyways. forget it.

anyways, i went ice skating! aha! it's been awhile since i skated. being on the ice again made me feel like a lil kid. i was so happy. the thought of going made me smile in my sleep.

so back to the start. it was this perfect morning, i woke up at 8.30. was supposed to go to the hospital with gpa but they left early. they left me all alone at home. boohoo? NOT. i dont mind being alone. in fact, i like being alone sometimes. i hear myself loud and clear and no one is there to confuse me or distract me. so after changing and gathering some stuff, went online to update some stuff and watch a episode of Supernatural. Gawd. Jensen Ackles might not be my age. but dang he's good looking. ahah.

and then suddenly. JOYCE FONG. FONG NI TIENG. WHERE ARE YOU???????
i sat up straight in my chair and flew down stairs to see who it was. and lo and behold. my fav cousin. Feon-na. aahaha. love her. she told me once we got into the car, she told me a few neighbours stuck their heads out the window to see who was shouting. i mean. its a lazy monday mid morning and who shouts in a lazy neighbourhood. ahahaha. i was like so embarassed cause now everyone knows my name. nhahahhaha.

on our way to Sunway, in the car, Leon my cousin was reading New Moon, he took so long reading a page and he usually reads very fast. so i was like why you reading so slowly? and his reply made me burst into laughter. like seriously. his reply was: i'm memorizing all the lines so that i can use it on my girlfriend next time. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. so funny man.

when we got there, it was around 12 or so. so we had lunch at Sakae Sushi. we had okay sushi there. nothing out of this world. definitely nothing close to Nishiki back in kk. miss that place with that old japanese man. sigh. anyhow, when we done eating, Na went and take the last few Edamame, the japanese beans, and she sucked on one, then suddenly she threw it down. me and leon were like. Whats wrong? and she was like in shock. i looked at the bean and saw a frozen Maggot right on top of the tip of the bean. i was like. omg. Leon was laughing so hard then he called the waiter which looked like some typical lala guy. and we showed him the bean with the maggot. his expression was priceless. he was like. :O Oh Gawd. ahahahhahahahahhahahahahaha. he took the plate away. so funny. and we got a ten percent discount on our payment. so funny la. ahahah. and only when we walked out of the place, only did my cousin remember than she already ate the beans within. and you know what bugs do to vege right? they eat a lil bit of outside. crawl inside and lay eggs. ahahahahaha. so funny. her face was like. white. aahahhaha.

after that, leon's friend joined us. we went ice skating. so many people la. and then then then. out of all the people from church to see, we see Yumey. like. so perfect right? NOT. its not that i dont like her. i tried to. i smile at her and try to start a convo with her but all she ever does to me is ignore me and push me away with cold stares. its like. what did i ever do to you la? its so unfair. its not like i stole your boyfriend or something. geez la. argh. anyhow, leon was happy to see her. so i just smiled at her. she just looked right pass me. well, it was nothing new. so. i kept quiet la. she was all over him which was very disgusting to watch. but Kirsten was there too. which made things okay again. i like Kirsten. she's such a bubbly funny random friend to have around. she's my fun friend. ahaha.

after skating a while, they needed to dry and shave the ice. it was gonna be 45 minutes before we could skate again and we've already skated for more or less an hour and a half. so we moved out. sher min was hungry and na wanted some pancake typa food so leon suggested Waffle World. after half an hour of walking around and not finding it. we gave up and bought Auntie Anne's and Famous Amos. apparently, the love birds share the same taste in food. which is really sweet. ahah.

the bowling alley was sorta full. we met up with Patricia, Feon-na's best friend. and her brother. Wilbur. and his friend. which i have no idea whats his name. haha. after a while of watching them bowl, Leon couldn't wait any longer and paid for both him and Na to play. haha. he kept betting on himself and na on who could score most. it was hilarious cause Na was playing lazily and he was playing with such passion yet na was winning. ahahahahahaha.

after that we joined my aunt, Na's and Leon's mom, to shop. Topshop. MNG. Dorothy Perkins. Miss Selfridge. Guess. it was fun. ahahaha. Had Tony Roma's for dinner. i liked the beef ribs. it was nice. ahaha. and the desert was pretty cool too. ahah.

after that, went home with em. it was fun la. all in all. haha. hope i get to skate again soon sometime.

peace out,
joyce

to my sister, Charlotte.

hey.

i know i haven't been the perfect sister. perhaps i never will be. but i tried.
growing up as a toddler, i thought you were my only sister. you were always there with me to try new things. and you played some very memorable tricks on me that are forever embedded in me. you were always someone i looked up to. you were always Daddy's lil girl. always. no one could take that title or place from you.

when i grew older, you once told me i was a orphan mom and dad adopted because i was so different from the family. i cried and hid in my room. i thought that it was true. you called me gullible and from that day on i not only learned not to trust everything someone says but i, too, learned a new word. i always tried to be like you. smart, talented in sports and active and charming. you lit up the room. always the chandelier in the room. i used to follow you around and pester you. i just wanted so badly to be as great as you were. when we moved back to kk, i made you angry countless times cause i wanted to be like you in school. you were powerful and such a important person.

i felt this pressure to be like you. so i read your diary. thinking back, it was perhaps the stupidest thing i could have done. why? because i learned that i was such a terrible sister. how much you hated my presence and how much you wanted me gone. when i closed that book, i put it back but i left it so obviously in a way someone had touched it. you scolded me and hit me for reading it. you taught me yet another lesson. to give someone personal space and privacy. it meant a great deal to someone and you should respect it.

when i entered high school, everything shook me. i was a nobody yet once again. in primary school, i was always the golden girl. the good student. the teacher's pet. but in high school, you're just another fry in the sea of fish. when my sisters told me to change. i never listened. i remained as headstrong and stubborn to prove them wrong. i was who i was. that was what i believed. when i entered high school, my sister had just finished high school. all these years i've been listening to endless stories on highschool i was so anxious to know what it felt like. the first days of high school were groundbreaking. not only was i humbled by the enormous change but you were there to explain why it was that way and how it was gonna be. thinking back, if you weren't there to guide me. i'd still that lost fry in the sea of fish. somewhere along the way, we grew accustomed to each other. we started being nice to each other. then mom decided to throw us in a room together. not only did i find out that i talked in my sleep, i also found out how nice and great you were. from time to time you did show me who's boss and i acknowledged it. i learnt so many things about you and myself. when i didnt know what to do, you told how and when and where. at times, i was such a bitch and i didnt know and you told me and you put me in place. you straightened me up. at times when i took the hits for you, i knew i was just trying to replace the hits you took for me too. i never forgot how much you took for me when mom or mich was angry at me. i never forgot.

and then this year. we lost gma. and something in me changed. something in me was broken. and then when we came back, everything was harder. school. friends. you. mom. dad. everything. and then we started fighting again. when you called me the bane of your life. it hurt. because it made me think i was back to that place again. to that spot where you hated me presence. it made me cry and write those posts about you. you were my confidante. if i didnt tell you, i'd blog about it. when people asked me whether everything was okay at home, i'd say yeah it was fine. but i guess you and me both know that's rather far from the truth but it could have been worse. we were blessed enough to have just enough and a lil more. we weren't rich like our friends but we were well to do. you were always the one warning me about spending money.

somewhere along the way you made friends in college that i may have liked because they were downright nice but in some ways i didnt agree with. but all in all. I love you. I loved how you were never scared to stand out in a crowd. i loved how you were always ready to take the plunge. I loved how you managed to stay on top of things when it seemed like everything else was falling apart. I loved how at times of vulnerability, you managed to toughen up and save the day. I love you for who you are. you may seem shallow and stupid at times, but i know its an act. perhaps one you've perfected but no matter who you are or who you turn out to be, you're my sister. and I love you. cause you're you.

love,
joyce

ola amigo...

i watched new moon yesterday! haha!

Jacob .aka. Taylor Lautner is soooooo hot. Tanya, i'm not confused anymore. i am all for jacob. ahaha. i mean. okay. he's your best friend. he's always there for you. he looks after you. he's totally buff and muscly. he's sweet and always trying to cheer you up and keep you safe. he likes to cuddle. i mean. hey. he's nearly perfect! ahah! he cant be perfect cause well. no one is perfect.

i liked edward cause he was the quintessential classic gentlemen. he's presentable. he's classy. he's smart. he's articulate. he's rich. and he's a musician. which is definitely a sexy factor. ahaha. and he has brooding good looks and is mysterious. and as a girl. who doesnt like a mysterious guy? haha. all those edward fans are just itching to find out more. whereas, jacob is just plain and simple. which is currently far more appealing. and the fact that he changes into this hulking werewolf. rrrrr. ahahaha.

i liked new moon. didnt exactly love it. but it was good. haha.

also met leon's girlfriend. leon is my cousin. the hulk one. the buff yet friendly one. the gentle giant. ahaha. his girlfriend is really nice. really friendly. sweet, pretty, thin, a lil tomboy-ish which is definitely a plus, and she's like me. when online, listens to music and watches tv shows that aren't aired here. ahahaha. i like this girl. ahahaha.

tmw i've got church. woohoo. hopefully jeshua comes back soon. i mish him. ahaha. and hopefully i'll try and forgive the other guy. i guess i have to since its part of all the becoming a better christian. argh. he pisses me off. argh.

i miss you michelle seck wei qi~~~~ we need to go shopping here. you me and the malllllllllll. ahaha.

joyce. in lurve with werewolves. ahah.

on a train to nowhere.

hey. if you think i'm not updating, nudge me. sometimes i get lazy and need a nudge or two.
and if i'm not responding. look up. a) facebook. i might be there. b) here. i might be blogging and ignoring the nudges. or c) tumblr. thats right folks. i've jumped on that trainride. its not cause i have so much to tell the world or i follow trends or what not. but i was or am bored. so i created one. it was pretty easy. i like it. hehe. anyhow, here is the link to my tumblr account. i'm still new. so if you fall asleep reading or looking through, dont say i didnt warn you.

http://joycefong.tumblr.com/

there you go sweetpeas.

love,
joyce.

you dont even care who i am.

the title doesnt match the content. ahah.

anyhow, i went shopping with Feon-na yesterday! haha! so happy bout that.
in the morning, i woke up in a nasty mood. blame it on the dream. it wasn't what i wanted. and i pray it doesn't happen either. so when the phone rung, i picked it up and all i heard was: JOYCE, YOU WANNA GO SHOPPING TODAY??? haha. that definitely brightened me up in an instant. ahahaha.

after we sent my sister to college, we went home and they had already arrived. my super awesome aunt suo mein and my cousin feon-na.hehe. love them to bits.

we went to mid valley. had lunch at shogun. the sashimi salad with the sushi zen dressing is nice. i loved it. right amount of sashimi and vege with a tang of lemon, salt and lime and other sour stuff. if you didn't know, i like sour stuff. it makes me happy and slightly high. ahaha.

after that, we went to Delectable in Gardens. the cupcakes were rather simple and pretty. but seriously it doesnt even come close to what my aunt makes. the woman behind Delectable is Su Yin. she's from Ipoh and she's famous. therefore, she can afford to sell 3 cupcakes for rm28. let me do the math for you. thats rm7 for one small itty bitty cupcake with a small icing ribbon and a blue top. i was like. ZOMG. WHAT???? and the simple cake with freshly whipped cream and icing. was rm70. seventy ringgit. not seventeen. whatthehell is wrong with the world. like seriously. and worse still this lil boy from cempaka gave everyone those three cupcakes for a party pack for his birthday party.

seriously. why cant you people use the money for better things like say. donate it to people in need. like the world vision children. gosh.

then we went to Springfield. saw this really nice bomber jacket. but then again. to wear a bomber jacket around malaysia is ridiculous. unless we have weather like Wuhan then again maybe i will. ahahaha. it was freezing when i was there. but i enjoyed every moment of it. seriously. i loved the cold. haha.

then i went to FOS. bought two tops and two shorts. haha. peace shirts. love peace shirts. haah. all about going green and bringing peace and harmony back into the world. :D

then went to cold storage. love that place la. it has everything i love. like starburst rattlesnakes which are so yummy. and all my chocolate cravings for really nice prices.haha.

so later on i decided to sleepover at aunt suo mein's house. which is like my secondhome. ahha. i've been sleeping over at her house ever since i was a toddler. really. she's someone i really look up to. she's determined, focused, hardworking, smart, creative, innovative, and she's a sincere and honest person. she's someone i'd like to be. she works hard at whatever she sets her mind to. which is rare and when you come across someone like her, its inspiring and definitely gives you a sense that you should try to be that way too.

am going to Bangsar Village later. haha. more shopping. wish Eunice would come along too! ahha. i think Ce Mandy is joining us. she's got no class. hehe.

anyhow, i miss all of ya'll in kk. my mom, my dad, and all my friends and my dog lucky. ahah.

grateful,
joyce

its been crazy.

hey there.

sorry. i've been not updating. life's been really rushed and all. and i dont have my own comp. so its pretty hard. to update and stuff. gosh. there's really so much i wanna tell you guys. but time and tide really waits for no man. so anyhow, miss you guys a tonne. take care. God bless.

joyce

waking up.

i realize. i assume things way too fast too easily. i overthink. over analyze the situation. i never let things run their course. i like to intervene and try to make sure things happen the way i want it to happen. i have to learn to let nature run its course. i have to learn to let go of the reigns once in a while. i have to realize that i'm not the only person feeling this way. i do know. i do realize it. and i'm on my way to learning and mastering it. just give me time. its all i need. maybe sometime after i've learned it well. i'll come back for you. who knows?.

joyce.
dont just live the dream. cherish every moment its happening too.

erm. okay.

Dear Joyce Fong, below are your love test result:

1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. You chose the long road. You take your time and do not fall in love easily.

2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of white represents what you expect in return. You give 50% and expect 50% in return.

3. This question represents your attitude towards handling relationship problems. You like to get the person yourself. You are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately.

4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like seeing your boy/girlfriend. You place the roses on the bed. You like to see him/her a lot.

5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality. You prefer the person to be asleep, you love the person the way s/he is.

6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone. You chose the longer road. You will tend to stay in love for a long time.

scaeerrrryyy.

Dear Joyce Fong, below are your PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY test result:

You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...

You hide your emotions... Sometimes pretending to be always happy. Sometimes, not giving even a hint of what you really feel.

You love deeply... you may flirt along and people think you’re a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.

You appreciate simple things in life... You hate complicating things that’s why you’re typically up-front in any aspect.

You’re an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend... You don’t care if your partner doesn’t really love you as long as you love him/her. You give your all...

You’re undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because they know you will consider them.

You’re independent! You’re also risky just like the bajaken who sail in the vast and dangerous ocean to look for treasures!

i've never had one this accurate. crap. now all of ya'll know me. ahah. take this test. seriously. i'm not promoting. its just well. good. ahha.

sorry been mia

hey there. sorry. its been a week. a helluva week. China. its been so mind blowing. and the experience is one i'll never forget. seriously. the people. the scenes. the places. the events. so amazing. especially the cruise. it was awesome.

tell you more soon. now. still jetlagged. sorry. hehe. miss ya'll!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuadCJRpFsE

this song from glee. is so good. you have have have to listen to the song. am totally hooked onto GLEEEE! haha. the actor is so goodlooking. now i'm stuck onto three shows. GossipGirl. 90210. Glee. haha.

toodles!
joyce

i like big butts and i cannot lie!

all i have to say is. Dylan has one nice bootyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. hahahahahahahaha. from left to right, Sa'idatul Najah who so happens to have her burpday today. aahah. birthday i meant. haha. Amalina who is such a fun person to have around you and she's absolutely the nicest one too. Dina who is the loudest and randomest person i know and she's absolutely crazy. like me. and there's Dylan who's butt looks pretty awesome here. aha. he's a good friend and a fun dude to have around. haha.

big bums are our thang,
joyce

new found respect.

Have you guys ever loved your family member but never really respected them?
As in. okay. Since they are our loved ones, you say the occasional I love you and Happy Birthday and get all happy for their achievements and stuff but do you really really love em?

trurh be told, my relationship with my sisters weren't always this nice. it probably still isn't but its better than what it used to be.

the age gap between me and my eldest sister is about eight years. but since i'm a late baby. you can say its nine years apart.

me and her. we never really got along. mostly just avoided each other. when she had great news i would be happy for her. when i had great news she'd be happy for me. but any other than that, we just pretty much just avoided each other. i remember how we used to get into fights with each other just cause we started talking to each other. it used to happen all the time.

as i got older, we were far apart. i never really tried talking to her and she never tried. we did the usual 'hey how you doing? oh is that right. okay.' thing where we just go our separate ways and do our own stuff. we never really interfered in each others life.

but these couple of months, we've been getting along much better. talking, laughing and sharing. pretty much like how it should have been.

and i realize. how great a person she really is. She's smart, caring, talented, open minded, slightly crazy, strong willed, independent and a great great Christian. oh and i forgot to mention PRETTY. hehe. she's been through alot without guidance. she pulls through tough situations with just a few friends and herself. after all these years of being around, never once did i think that she's a nice person. in my mind, it was always negative comments of her. i never tried to love her. i guess a part of me just wanted to be like her. successful. everyone smiles when you mention her name. you know how they always say : Girls just wanna be her and Boys just love her. The IT girl. you could say that that's how i think of my sister now. not that i'm saying that she's perfect. she has her flaws too but her flaws used to be all i saw. not her passion for God, or her good deeds or anything. she took two degrees and finished them with perfection. she took her Masters in Psychology and got into second upper which is pretty good already. i guess. in a way. she's helped me be who i am today. she pushed me to be a better person. a better Christian. a better sister. a better friend. when you do something wrong around her, she'll either laugh at you in a good way or she'll scream her head off at you and make you correct it and promise her you wont do it again. so yeah. in a way she is strict. but when she's in a good mood, you're bound to have fun around her. unless she doesn't like you. hehe.

since coming here. i realize how much i miss my kk people. their all crazy bubbly and not shy. i miss you guys alot. now what do i dooooo. hahah.

thoughts and rants,
joyce

to do list.

while in KL. i should have a to do list right? yeah. i thought i should. just to see if i can accomplish anything.

let' see.

1. Go get some flats/mary janes.
   
2. help gpa run some errands.
   
3. get a new jacket.
   
4. go get some new jeans.
   
5. join the VBS team.
   
6. join youth camp.
   
7. spend more time with cousins.
   
8. go get new tops.
   
9. get earphones for my phone.
   
10. go get a simple bag.
    
11. read some books. borrow ce's.
    
12. continue doing devotion and perpose driven life.
    
13. get gifts for yiing, mich, mal, gina, lia, jan, dina, and nick.
    

yeah. i think number five is done. so one down. twelve more to go!

you're probably thinking why i did only thirteen things to do. well its cause my lucky number is thirteen. aeroplanes dont have aisle thirteen you know. its 12a and 12b then 14. betcha dint know taht?! hahah. i love the number thirteen. i dont care what other people think. hehe.

anyhow, gtg do some stuff now.

running and jumping for you,
joyce

uh oh.

friday came and went with such speed. i'm so upset by that.

i woke up at 8. had to start packing and re-packing and rearangging my stuff. packing is definitely not my forte. spent another two hours choosing folding stuffing. ahhaha. when the clock struck eleven, my mood changed from cranky to nervous. seriously nervous.

truth be told, when iffa said i hope you lose your ticket, part of me wanted to say i'll lose it for you. i didnt wanna go. i didnt wanna make any of you cry. i didnt wanna cry too. seeing mal, sai, and iffa tear up really took a toll on me. and group hugs at these kinds of occasions always make me cry. so yeah. i cried. big deal. pffffffttt. hahaha.

i was really happy to see so many people turn up for lunch. especially dylan, aaron and nickly. i felt really touched. when we were on the beach taking pictures, i think mentally, i was taking a picture of you guys too. when yiing was playing the guitar, just strumming, with nick on the ledge. when izzat and adrian and dylan were acting gay for the picture. when mal was saying i'll just take a bite and she finished half the burger. when maroline, law vuii, stacey and sai were dancing to you belong with me by taylor swift. and we were standing on the beach taking pictures. i was showing yiing how to hold the cam and how to differentiate between a normal pic and a good pic. it was all memorable for me. especially the part where iffa kept telling me. where's my burger o? why so slow o? and dina for making some jokes with my mom about chili padi and food. hahaha. and how nick couldnt spot my mom from all of us. ahah. and how adrian said HI AUNTIE a lil too loud. ahaha. it was all hilarious and it just stuck in my memory.

crying on the plane and looking like my husband just died or something is obviously not a good look for me cause the air stewardess took extra care of me which actually irritated me for some reason. after a while of crying, i finally took a lil breather. i looked out and felt a lil at peace. all i saw were dark blue clouds. but the formations made me itch to take a picture. anyhow, i didnt. didnt wanna get thrown off the plane. i was all alone. somehow. it made me feel even more sad. if that was even possible. when i got off the plane it was already eight thirty or so. i made a quick detour to Mcd's to get some food. but when i got there i didnt feel hugnry. but then i didnt wanna get gastric so i stood in line to get food. while waiting i looked at my options: one, a doublecheese burger. Nah.... too filling. might barf on the bus. Two, some nuggets. erm. didnt feel like eating meat. Three, just fries. erm. didnt wanna get my hands all oily. Four, ice cream. hmm... sounds good. so there, i ate ice cream for dinner. ahheahahahahah. why? just cause i felt like having something milky and creamy and fulfilling. it was. after having it, i felt like a kid once again. like i did some really tiring job and i deserved and devoured my reward. ahahah.

on the bus, i was texting multiple people. ahaha. yiing. tanya. sai. john. megan. izzat. adrian. ahahaha. i was really awake by then so focusing on the topic for each person which by the way was different was not really that hard. the bus ride was fairly interesting. the couple in front of me was talking really loudly bout their holiday pictures. the guy behind me was telling his friend how to do his job. the woman behind was probably a lawyer cause she was talking to her friend on how to manipulate the contract. the woman beside me just came back from some china trip and was calling all her friends to tell them bout the gifts she bout for them. it was fairly interesting to hear them. you might say eaves dropping. but hey. when their talking so loud, you'll probably be deaf not picking up on the bits and pieces of things they've been talking about.

when i got to sentral. the most frightening thing happened to me. this foreign woman. she's probably like 5'9 or something. awesomely tall. quite pretty. well put that thought aside. SHE NEARLY STOLE MY BAG!!!!!!!! she took my bag and was walking away. i went after her and told her my bag. thats my bag. and she was speaking some kinda alien language so i just did sign language and then she smiled and returned me my bag. i was like. pppphhhheeewwwwww. i thought she was gonna run away with my bag or something. ahahaha.

got home. was so tired. took a shower. called mum. talked to her for a bit. then went to bed. was texting tanya all night till 12 or so. was too tired by then so i went to bed.

toady, woke up at like 8 but continued lying on the bed till 9. finally moved around and went downstairs for breakfast. then changed for church. oh. i was like. so. nervous. ahahahaha. had to go alone since ce mich went for the Terry Fox Cancer Awareness Run with her friends and ce mandy had a eye irritation. when i walked in i was like so nervous. i just put this smile on my face but it obviously didnt reach my eyes until i saw ce su anne with vei shaun and john lim and eunice playing the piano. hahah. i was so glad i had finally found company. hehe. then had the sermon by some pastor from ee. i dunno whats that but sounds so erm. whatchamacallit. like AA for alcoholics anonymous.hahahaha. anyhow, his sermon was okay i guess. not the best i've had but it was good anyhow. any sermon about living a better life as a christian is good for me. i guess the main point of his sermon was that if we dont live as examples, as good human beings, as good people with moral principles and all, in a way, our behavior would reflect badly on God. on Christianity. and we had to follow our life guide which is the Bible. the example the pastor gave was the blender. if we just use the blender until its broken down and then look to the manual that would be stupid wouldnt it? why couldnt you have looked at the manual first then use the blender to avoid all waste of money and time? same goes for the story aunty sue gave.. on the white socks. when we received God's love and became Christians, we were white socks, fresh white and pure but as time went by, we began to sin and we became dirty. as Christians, we should always repent from our sins to remain as clean as possible. as human beings, we will always be sinners but it does not mean we should not try to be as clean as possible. in fact, as christians, we should try effortlessly to be better people to show that as Christians we make a change in lifestyles. We are the Change. thats how it should be. and from today onwards, i'm going to show that i can change from being a normal person to a better person.

anyhow, today's my grandpa's bday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA! joining him for a dinner later. hehe.

miss all you kkians. verrrryyyy much now that i'm here. aw darn. take care of yiing for me people! she's a delicate flower! if she wilts, i'll kill you! (channeling achmed the terrorist). ahaha.

with love and joy,

joyce

not forgetting ya.

not only will i miss my classmates. but also my buds from form four.

Mich. Michelle Seck.
this shopaholic is the perfect person you'd wanna go shopping with. there may be a lot of shopaholics in my life. but you'll never find someone as great with advice and the patience like her. she's awesome. heeh. and she gets excited when she sees nice things which is always a good thing. haha. she's the one i turn to whenever i need a ear. she seems to always turn into humour. though she might reply late, she replies anyhow. when she cares for you, she really cares and she'll be there for you. awesome right? i know i'm lucky to have a friend like her. ahaha.

Lia. Liyana Amilin.
this girl has a voice of a Grammy award winning artist. and i truly believe if she doesnt become a pilot, she'll become a singer. a great one. when she sings, you just wanna shut up and listen. her voice is powerful and just plain awesome. ahah. she's also a hugger. like me! ahah. she's the most affectionate person i know. which is nice! she's bubbliest person you'll ever meet on the street! she's the fun kinda person. so if you're in the mood for pics, karaoke, or just plain fun, call her up! if she aint playing for a gig or singing, she's free and she's all yours boys! because if she falls for you, you're the one thats in luck!

Gina. Georgina Bentota Heiwagel.
she's someone you'll love having around. up or down. she'll bring you right back up to cloud nine. she makes you laugh whenever and wherever. she's got the wittiest comments and comebacks i've ever heard. and she's also smart and pretty. i mean. where else could you find someone like gina? and she's like no other. she's a specimen on her own. and any guy would be the luckiest guy ever to get this girl. this girl has more gut than some boys i know. she's daring, ambitious, smart, pretty, and the funniest girl alive!

to this three people. i love ya!

to cheryl and madeleine and alex. you guys know i love ya too. hehe.

going crazy just thinking,
joyce

A day out with the people you love.

you know what happens when you spend the entire day with the people whom you absolutely adore? those quirky random out-of-this-world behaviors and those crazy random fun things we all love to do? i'll tell you what happens.

you'll fall ever more deeply in love with all of em and care and overlook the flaws and see them for what they really are. that's what happened to me. Today. :D

just when i thought i couldnt fall any harder. haha. boy was i wrong.

yiing, dina, mal, sai, iffa, maroline, marco, aaron, adrian, sau, darren, stacey, russel, law vuii, izzat and patrick. that was our group outing. can you imagine how noisy we were? hahaha.

first off, school. all we did was stay in class and play music. or rather they did. i spent my time with gina and alex. hehe. after school, went home and changed. then got a ride to 1Borneo. arrived at like 1.20pm or so la. hahaha. then i stood in line with dina. we were standing there for like. well. ten minutes. then only did we realize that wasnt a line for ordering. it was like the pick up line. darn. ahahaha. had lunch and marco arrived which was quite a surprise since he didnt really actually say he was coming.

we went to the bowling alley. hehe. it was fun. amalina was like the best longkang aimer i have ever met in my entire life. seriously. ahah. it was like a competition between amalina, dina and maroline. ahahahahha. no lah. just kidding ba. ahaha. aaron, adrian and marco were awesome at bowling. marco was actually leading but lost to aaron. i mean. aaron is like a sportsmen la. marco is just. normal. ahahahahh. he is a good friend when he wants to be la. at times. ahahahah. kan mal?! ahahaha.

after bowling, yiing, nickly, adrian, marco, and all played some snooker. yiing whooped all their asses! ahahahah! me dina sai iffa maroline law vuii and stacey went for ice cream and soon after the snooker players joined in as well. we all had ice cream. and i have never seen someone eat ice cream as fast as marco. he practically gobbled it up. he ate alot la. ahahaha.

we took loads of pics. will post em up later. hehe.

we went to giant to shop for the class party. this is the first time in three years i wont be participating in the class party. well at least i shopped for the ingredients right? haha. we were the noisiest bunch of people in the whole supermarket. ahahah. we made so much noise the people were just glaring at us. we really didnt care. we bought lamb chops, chicken wings, sausages, a watermelon, juice and veggies. ahahah. and then we realized we had no time, we payed and ran to the shuttle stop. ahahahha. then stacey and law vuii acted as if the bus had left early but actually it hadn't arrived. evil o this two cute things. ahahaha.

the bus ride was definitely THE most interesting bus ride i've ever had. we practically owned the bus. since there was like 12 of us and four outsiders. we just talked and talked and talked to each other without caring for the rest of the passengers. lol. evil right? ahahahahahaha. there were two funny convos throughout the ride.

One.

Adrian Marco Me
joyce, what to do with the lamb?
huh? what?
laughing. take the lamb eh.
i'm not cooking. you take it.
give it to yiing la.
let marco do some work la.
you didnt invite me to lunch oso.

as if inviting him to the luncheon would have made a difference. in the end. he said he's not coming to the luncheon. such a weirdo o him. sigh. i feel sad for him. hahahah.

Two.
Adrian Marco Me
joyce! ...... can i go pee?
WHAT? why are you asking me that?
cause i'm following your car....
hahaha..... its not like i'm going to leave you behind la..
so can?
yeah!
joyce! can i go pee?
why you asking me?
cause you're like a mom.

the worst part about these two convos. it was on the bus. loud and clear. especially marco's comment on me being a mom. ouch much marco.

but i guess it made the bus ride a whole lot more fun than being all sad and quiet. ahahah.

when we arrived in warisan, the boys took off running for the washroom. they really disappeared. it was hilarious. they even took the lamb chops with them. ahahahahhahaha.

stacey's boyfriend patrick and mal's boyfriend russel were ridiculous la. ahahaha. when we got off the bus, they asked me where we were going? so i said. to the boardwalk? patrick thought i said the bar. ahahahahahahhahaha. then when i asked them where they were going? they said they wanted to sit by the road. i was like. erm. ooookkkkkaaayyy. ahahahahahhahaha. so funny o. and when i asked about greg, they said he's in kl. i said i was leaving for kl tmw. they thought i'm gonna meet up with greg. LOL. ahahhaha. very funny la your boyfriends.

after that, marco left with darren and sau left. so all that was left from 12 people was down to two. me and adrian. hehe. we were in times. we met steve and audrey. nice people. adrian bought me a book! ahahhaha! recommended by michelle seck! its called thirteen reasons why. am gonna read it on the flight. ahaha.

today. was. awesome. spending time with my favourite people. haha.

tmw. my flight is at four. am having lunch with some people again before leaving. i'm so nervous. and sad. i dunno how i'm gonna cope not crying. haha. i think i'm gonna cry hardest at leaving people like yiing, tanya, mal, dina, stacey, iffa, maroline, sai, law vuii, adrian, aaron, marco, dylan, gina, michelle, lia, cheryl, and maddie. how am i gonna survive not seeing em for two months.

aw darn. stupid tears. making me feel all hot and stuffy.

i'll miss you so much. to all of ya'll. i'll come back!

tears or dreams, which do i pick?

torn in between choices,
joyce

Football and handball. hehe.

Wednesday.

We had the football match. We lost. Not that bad la. But well. I could have done better. Could have tried to contain my anger towards him. But I guess when you load a pistol, you’re better off shooting it right? I dunno. I guess. Anyhow, we lost by one score due to penalty. Darn. Darn their legs. Ahahahahaha. It was uber fun tho. Playing with all my lovies. Yiing is awesome at sports. Am so envious of her. Ahaha.

We drew on our faces with natalie’s eyeliner. The pictures can be found at stacey’s blog. She has a real nice camera. Hehe. Had fun taking pics. I think my favourite pic has to be this one. I dunno. I think its cause its just us. The gang.

Mal, yiing, me, iffa, dina, maroline, sai and Stacey. This whole year. The people in this photo have saved me from falling. From going under. These people. I cant say how much I’m going to miss them this end of the year. I’m tearing up just typing this. Haha. My mom’s shocked I’m crying while typing on the comp. but what the hell who cares. To the people in the pic: I LOVE YOU! I always will and I’ll really miss you!

Today Thursday.

We had handball. A sport I never knew existed until today. Had no idea how to play. But when I did find out, I thought well. Easy peasy cheesy shit. WRONG. It was tough. Rules are you cant hold the ball and move more than three steps and you cant hold the ball for more than five seconds. Its funny cause if you hold the ball more than three seconds I guess you’ll find yourself on the floor. Players will be coming at you in all direction so the smartest thing to do is pass the ball to your fellow teammates. Yiing was awesome once again scoring a total of about six goals for our class. Hehe. So proud of her. Hehe. My friend le! Ahahaha! Gila ady this. We got to semi-finals but we lost to class AC. Cause well. The ball sorta hit past me. It hit my knee and went it. That was like ten seconds from the end of our overtime two minutes. Although we lost, we were pretty much very proud of ourselves. Cause we played a good game. It was a tough fight. Our strengths and their strengths were pretty much almost equal. I cant say equal cause they won! Ahahahah. But anyhow, it was fun playing with my classmates. All of us were yelling at each other on the top of our lungs. E.g: PASS THE BALL! RUN! GIVE IT TO YIING! GO! GET OUT OF MY WAY BA YOU! GIMME THE BALL!

It was hilarious. Although it caused me a lil over exertion later on but it was damn fun. We definitely should join the handball team. Ahaha. The referees were saying stuff like. Oi ganas o kamu. Lelaki pun kalah o. hahahahahahahahaha!

Our team cheer. Was. One two three MATI KAU! Ahahahahaha. So awesome la.

TMW. We’re going out to one b. I hope everything goes as planned and everything goes smoothly. I’m leaving on Saturday. I’m gonna miss you kkians la! Hahaha.

Tears rolling down my face,

Joyce

3AM1 !!!!!!!!! 09 edition!

3am1 3am1 3am1.

if i had to write an essay about our class. describing our class. the atmosphere and all. i think i could write an eleven page essay. the way we all mix around. the way we all are crazy, bubbly and out of this world. we're all distinctly different yet have so much in common. the way we look out for each other. the way we care for one another and help each other out.

the most amazing thing about this class. is how it affected me. how they influenced me. changed me. and i think for the better as well.

last year. when i was in school. i was a totally different person. i was egoistical, filled with pride, was always offensive and i always fought to have it my way. i never let anyone get away from insulting me without me insulting them back. i was harsh, rude and i always let them know i was of higher power. some of you may not believe that. and think. Nah, she's just exaggerating. but no. i was like that. i was mean to everyone. even my friends. looking back. i hated myself for being that way. but it never crossed my mind to change for the better. not once.

this year. it all changed. i attended church and a new class. new friends. new environment. everything that wasn't in my comfort zone. i made new friends. and as i made new friends. i realized i could be me. not the old me. but me. i could be nice and friendly and less offensive. because these new innocent people didnt know me. so i shed that part of me. i threw that filthy side of me out the window. i let me be me. i didnt insult them. i wasn't rude or harsh to them. in a way, they changed me. sometimes, they taught me the way it was in their life. and it made me realize the foolishness of my past and how i could change my present being for a better future. they pushed me to study in class. they taught me new. good ways. the best part of it all. the cherry on top of my cake was. they were all of different backgrounds. indian. chinese. sinokadazans. malays. eurasians. all of them were distinctly different.

for example, my favourite group to chill out with consist of about twelve people. Let's start off with Yiing. if you've been reading my past posts, you would realize she's a major factor of my change. for those who dont know her. here's a quick update. she's smart, talented, pretty and a great friend. she helps you when you're down and she's there whenever you need her. she's awesome. she's quiet when around strangers. immensely cold when she doesnt like you or you make her uncomfortable. but when you break down her defense wall, she's a funny and great person to hang out with. she's a sister to me. hehe. then there's Iffa Ridha. funny, smart, outrageously random and very very entertaining. her other half is Sa'idatul. if you're ever bored and you sit beside these two. you're boredom will definitely go away. they are like twins. inseparable. their funny and their humor bounces off of each other. Sai is pretty and she can sing. really well. then there's Maroline. she's a Taylor Swift fan. oh i love this girl! ahaha. she's so funny. and she makes the most hilarious moments during any of our hang outs. very memorable. like the time she mimicked the taylor swift song movement. very very funny girl. then there's Amalina. who's filled with juicy gossip and a horny person. ahahaha. no la just kidding. this girl is ridiculous when it comes to humor. she laughs when telling a joke. when she laughs, its contagious. everyone around her will start laughing! its true! there's also the Three Brothers. Izzat Ashraff aka EastZat. who's a great singer and a total clown. Mahathir aka Adew who's supposedly the heartthrob. well he has his days la. he's a clown as well. then there's Nickly who's not only a great friend but one of the most random people i've met in the entire world. ahaha. he likes to say i like eggs for no reason whatsoever which i find amusing. there's also megan. MegMeg ^^. she's bubbly, funny and a ball of joy. always smiling. her favourite thing in the entire world has to be her Mickey Mouse. hahaha. she always goes: EHYER SEE THAT MICKEY MOUSE PATUNG SO CUTEEEEE! hahahahaaha. its hilarious. but it suits her since she's cute. Next in line, Stacey Van Straten. one of the prettiest petite people i know. love her style. its very casual floral. it suits her alot. but then again. she's so pretty. pretty much anything looks good on her. her best friend is Natalie Prabha. who's also drop dead gorgeous. tall, slender and pretty. also very funny. she's crazy, bubbly and a ton of fun to be around. last but certainly not least, our very own..... DINA CYLA!!!!! hahahaha. she's absolutely the most dramatic person! when she tells a story, her actions are so loud you have to absolutely pay attention! ahahah! she's a really great artist too! very talented when doing art pieces.

this group of people. these twelve people. have influenced me. have changed me. have enlightened me. have widened my horizons.

this year. my class. was AWESOME. nothing will ever come close to this class. I love every single one of em cause their so comfortable being themselves. its so genuine that its so easy to be around them.

i'll miss these people when we get separated next year. i'll miss you.

feeling very nostalgic,
joyce

new people

installation night was much more fun cause i met new people. haha. i think.

i dressed up. wore make up and heels with my hair down and all. shocked nick speechless. ahaha. his face was priceless. mahathir's and izzat's as well. hahaha.

cut my hair and now i have a fringe. not much difference but whatever la. ahha. its there.

i met a few people. mostly michelle's church friends. their really nice people. :D

had fun with nick too. we left the ballroom to catch some air along the coastline. i took my heels halfway. it got a bit tiring. it was fun to feel the grass and the sand. very refreshing. we talked and hung out. he's a really nice guy. like a brother to me. not the way gina, daniel and cheryl made it out to be. haha.

lia was the emcee for the night. she did a good job! haha. and her dress was nice. she has the curves so she flaunted em. i guess some of us have to just live with the fact with we dont have such nice curves. hehe.

mich introduced me to her friends. carmen -pretty carmen- i met her at michelle's party back in september but we didnt really talk much. haha. brian -dude with accent- he's half danish. haha. it explains the humor and the accent. a nice guy. very funny. joshua. i dunno. didnt really talk to him or talk alot. leonie? i have no idea how to spell her name! ahah! but she's a ton of fun! haha. andrew. pretty boy? yeah pretty much. didnt really talk to him much too.

the way the night ended wasn't too nice. since it was pretty much all screwed up. i dunno why but i have this aching feeling. there's this tension between lia and gina against mich. its like. i dunno. very forced friendship. i dunno la. maybe its just me. being all paranoid.

michelle seck. all i can say bout this girl is that she's amazing. she's nearly flawless. physically. she's pretty. although she claims she's fat. i say otherwise. if she's fat what am i ? ? ? she's tall, slim and pretty. argh. sometimes i'm soooooo jealous of her! she's smart. 4s4. that was when she didnt try. if she tried i'm pretty sure she'd be the same class as CKM. she's also a slight fashionista. always dressed to impress. although she claims its comfort clothes, it looks great on her. she's a great friend too. always there for you when you fall. always cheering you up when you're down. she's also someone you wouldnt wanna cross or upset. she'll snap your neck in two. literally. but then again thats a up factor. thats why i love her! ahha. she's also a great person to watch movies with. ahahah. and share juicy gossip with. hehe. oh and i nearly forgot. if you ever need someone to go shopping with, she's definitely my number one choice! ahahahaha! all in all, she's one FANTABULOUS person and thats why she's one of my closest friends! no matter what people may say, she's a great person. and you haters, you got nothing nice to say? say nothing at all!

all in all, installation night was awesome. i made new friends and got closer to my old ones.

in reminiscence of you,
joyce

mistakes.

fantasies. fantasies. fantasies.

their just thoughts. dreams that'll never come true.

i should have realized what i believed was just a fantasy. i should realized before i got myself this deep.

the important thing is that i realize it now. you're just my friends. you aren't my type. i'll never be yours either.

it was just my silly fantasy.

i'm sorry.

joyce

your own perspective.

I woke up this morning. early. or rather early for me.

the whole point of waking up early was to get to school early. BUT. because of my dad i got to school late. like ten minutes later than my initial plan.

ran from my car all the way to class to find wen yiing gone. i was like ohmycrappers she didnt.

i walked really quickly to tanya's class. while there was a certain distance. i calmed myself down. was so freakin nervous could barely hear myself breathe.

when i was near to their class, then i realized. i was frowning. then i saw tanya. i smiled and whispered in a soft barely audible voice. I'M SO FREAKING NERVOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

wen yiing was standing with jeremy. i smiled and yiing and jeremy. Yiing quickly left to join tanya and they started some imaginary conversation. after i said what needed to be said. i looked at him. I was soooooo scared you have no idea. never in my entire life has a moment like that scared me. usually talking to people is my forte but this time it was outrageously creepy.

i'm so glad i said it. really. all this while, all i've ever been living with is this guilt of knowing that i hurt so many people. so many good friends that shouldn't have been hurt that way. they didnt deserve it. and he was on that list. I was such a stuck up, outspoken, pain in the ass person i would have hated me. i probably still am that person a bit. but i've changed. i kept that side of me in check.

and yeah charlotte might go yeah right. but ce you have no idea. you think you do but you dont. and for christ sake, you aren't all that bright. when you say you act stupid, i just think you are cause after acting that for so long it becomes of you whether you like it or not. too bad but oh so sorry i'm definitely not sad you are that way. :D

After talking to Ben the other day. i realized. i am not in love with you. i thought i was but truthfully. i'm not. the person i fell for isn't really you. the person i portrayed isn't you. and i dont think there is a person the way i described out there in this big big world. i thought you were perfect. but. i forgot. you're only human. you have flaws too. i still love you. but not more than just friends. today. when i saw you. you seemed real. because i finally snapped out of it. because i'm seeing you for you. you're nearly perfect for any lucky girl out there. but to me you're just my friend. my awfully good looking, smart and sensitive friend.

I realise that i may be too soft hearted towards people who dont deserve it. when i treat people nice, they step all over me and push me to the edge. when i treat them cold and mean, they get all silent and break into pieces. i'm like. what is the matter with you?. argh. but i dont care anymore. you. you have issues. you better get them resolved or i'll kill you with words i swear.

very busy week. argh.

you probably wont believe me but. i'm actually going to interact installation night!
me?. ahahahahahahahaaha. weird rite? i know.

i think thats about it. it should be about it. need sleep.

love ya hotties,
joyce

have you ever felt the need to breathe?

you know how
when you're growing up
you always follow someones lead
or if you're leading you follow the lead
of someone else .

when you grow up
you look back and wonder
why did i do that?
why did i feel that need to do so?
and then the guilt comes running in like water.
thats how i feel.

you know when you
do something that feels so right
and then realize its wrong when its done.
you feel this immense surge of numbness.
thats how i feel.

when i was growing up
i was always under someone else's shadow
i still am.
michelle's sister.
mandy's sister.
charlotte's sister.
margaret's daughter.
jason's daughter.
always under their thumb.
you're constantly squirming.
always fighting.
but just never free.
i guess i'll never know freedom with no lines attached.

i guess its just so.

wonders of the world,
joyce

pass the panadols please...

for someone as smart as me. when it comes to problems like you and you and you. even Albert Einstein would have a heart attack trying to solve the problem.

you think just cause you're older you get to push me around? DAMN STRAIGHT YOU'RE WRONG.

no one pushes me around okay? once in a while if i'm in a good mood, fine. its okay.
but going into my room and trashing it and then calling me a pig is UNACCEPTABLE you moron.

it isnt your room anymore. you cant just move away and still call it yours. you moved in to the new room and now thats your room. the old room is MY room now. wake up and smell the roses. you think i'm the bane of your life? YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY LIFE. YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT. you cant just walk into a room and say its yours just cause you like it. if thats so i would walk into trump tower and call it mine. use your god given brain la please.

you tell me you're some kinda big shot and how you bully people? aw please. the story is getting a bit old aint it? but since your head is so big i just kept quiet and let it continue growing with impatience. while you stomp your way to the top, one day when you're already at the top, i'll be waiting for a person to push you into the ravine and make sure you'll never be able to get up.

karma is a bitch. you said it yourself. now be prepared to face the consequences of your choices.

angry and ready to fight,
joyce

part of me screams for joy.

when it finally arrived, the girl screamed for joy and ran towards her gift with squeals of excitement and wonder.

that was my initial reaction towards my freedom. ask my classmates what i did when the teacher finished collecting the papers and they'll tell you i skipped towards the stairs. hehe.

i spent three days in a row out with my friends. its a first for me. usually i'd turn down at least one night due to my parents or my own self control. but this time its like. i felt the rush. the adrenaline rush. and to my surprise my parents didnt mind. as long as i came home before twelve it was fine. a lil like cinderella except my carriage doesnt turn into a pumpkin but my face does turn red. hehe.

later yo,
joyce

ohmygawd. i miss you!!!!

if there was just one small lil word for the feeling i feel now. one word. it would definitely be.

FREEEEEEEDDDDDOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!

HAHAHA. i'm so happy.

i woke up at five. FIVE a.m. ahaha. too freaking excited for the paper to be over.

i studied until 6.10. then i went downstairs. my parents weren't awake yet. i ate cornflakes while watching mtv breakfast. it was truly my morning fix. hahaha. its my drug. and its legal.

then my mom came down. i drank a lil juice then left for school. 90 percent of my classmates were buzzing about out freedom than to our last paper which was kemahiran hidup. ahahahaha. books were open but none of us were reading.

our favourite invigilator/pengawas came in. me dina and iffa started smiling. she's pretty and she's really graceful. seriously air stewardess ish. and she wears some really nice shoes. nude coloured pumps. obviously new since the price tag was still stuck onto it. didnt wanna embarass her so me and dina giggled silently. she even took our papers earlier. Dylan and all of us screamed when she left our class. MERDEKA or HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

it was all a rush. all we've worked for. the months of confinement. agony. burden. pressure. all released. relieved. let go. i jumped for joy along with everyone else. we were soooo happy.

got home. showered. got ready. went out with mich. one b. darn. we need new places and new things to buy. we went all over but there was like nothing to buy. we ate loads tho. hehehehe. well, comfort is key. ahaha.

we went to harris. found hilarious books and mags. soooooo funny. one book title was SINGAPORE EROTICA. a book on erotic stories by singaporeans. tell you the truth. my conception about singaporeans are. their all very narrow minded. or. their very conventional. very safe and you know like not out there. So you can pretty much guess my expression when i first read the title. my eyes went huge mouth gaped open. ahhahahahahahaa. me and michelle flipped through it and the opening we did was in the center and the story was around a girl named michelle. HAAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHA. sooooo funnny man. the salesgirl thought we were mad. but who cares?!?!

we went for a drink. at Simply Chocolate. the chocolate was nice. the hot chocolate. very soothing and warm. hahaha. spent a dubious amount of time gossiping tho. she left at five. ahahah. i had to wait till seven ish for my mom and sister to join me for dinner. spent my time at starbucks. reading the book me and michelle split. Beach Blondes by Katherine Applegate. its good. its a sequel sorta book. but its good. while waiting, i met two hongkong couples. they were amazed i spoke cantonese. cause at first i spoke english. ahahahahaha. well looks can be deceiving i guess. ahahahaha.

Tomorrow is another busy day for me. Noon i have a vid shoot for youth. Evening i have to hit the gym with mich and vern. Night i might go to Izzat's open house. oh dearie me. ahahahaha.

staying up all night tonight. by all night i mean until 3 or so. heheh.

love ya babe,
joyce

stupid me.

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving
~ boys like girls ft taylor swift

i miss you. but. i guess. i just never crossed your mind.
its okay cause i'll be leaving soon. and probably never see you again.
no worries. i wont be made a fool for love.

dont ask. you dont wanna know. its so pathetic and stupid.

joyce.

Karma is such a bitch.

i am going insane because of this lil thing called...

PMR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

history is a bad thing. why learn from the past? it has no future.

Kemahiran hidup. Living skills. as if teaching us how to fix the toilet will help any of us in life.

Geography. Nah. thats my bad. i just am too ignorant to learn more of our oh so beautiful Malaysia.

I cannot. i cannot i cannot i cannot i cannot i cannot.
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.
FOR THISSSSSSSS TO BE OOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR~

I really cannot. i just want it to be over and done with.

that is until the results come out. hehehehe.

till then. i only have one thing in mind. or mayb a couple of things.

relax and have tonsssssss of fun with my lovely lovely friends!!!!

hahahaha.

i miss going to youth! i miss jamie!!!! i miss jessica!!!! i misss vern!!!!!!! i miss frank!!!!! i miss everyone la!!!!!!!

i misssed the live auditions. darn.

and i dont even remember how i know vern. hahahaha. turns out i might have given her a awkward moment. and thats how i know her. or feel like i know her. ahahahahahahaha.

90210 is so much better now that LIAM is in it!!! he's soooooo cute la wei!

GossipGirl is so much better now that all my favourite bitches are back in it! For example, Vannessa is being a lil jealous! Dan is a bigger jerk! Chuck is being oh so simply mean! Blair is losing it but she's still in power! I love Serena! she's pretty, smart and oh so fabulous when she's mean! I am so in lurve with Nate! hahaah! he's so drop dead gorgeous! haha! Jenny is well. Jenny! but i like her style its so unique and quirky. but she makes trashy look so hawt! haha!

oh. i cant. wait. for. new moon. i am neither on team Jacob or team Edward. dont ask. am so torn in between these two teams. hahahahahaha.

okay. gotta run now!

love you~

sliding on breakable ground,
joyce

You have stolen my heart.

We watch the season
Pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend
Of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades away
You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart ~ Dashboard Confessionals

i love this song. for a silly reason. hehe. BLUEK.

i miss shopping. shoes. tops. jeans. jackets. argh~~~~

michelle seck~ we need to go shopping!!!!!!

hehe, joyce

that stupid feeling.

you know how when you fall for someone so hard and they just rip the feeling from you and leave you thinking what did i just do?. yeah. thats where i am. stupid me.

19 days to PMR. how awesome. got me going outta my mind.

i cant wait for it to be over.

then i can go out with my friends~~~

need to go watch movies with mal, sai, iffa, megan, stacey, law vuii, dina, yiing, marco, adrian, dylan and aaron.

need to go buy books with yiing, dina, stacey, dina, and mal.

need to buy new clothes with lia, mich, gina, cheryl and maddie.

need to just go to the beach and run around with all of the above.

need to take tons of pics with all of the above to post on facebook to announce my freedom.

oh and just to show some people who just love to pick on me that i'm taking the high road and not giving in to their petty grievances. XD

i think this year. i finally realize who i really am, what i'm good at and who my friends really are.

i am not a follower. i'm a leader. always was. and if you put me with another leader who wants to be leader, then you'll find that both of us will have a hard time having fun.

so i decided. i wont always be a leader. but i wont always be a follower.

i've learnt my lesson. i wont repeat the same mistakes.

live to learn,
joyce