I haven't been blogging in about a month. it's been a crazy one. everything from exams to fights and misunderstandings to me losing a close friend.
I lost Alex. that's what i lost. We were the closest of friends from January till may 15th. hahaha. how sad. five months.
the truth? we were never dating. we never dated. we were just close friends. whether you believe it or not.
and because of one word from me. i think. right now. today. we're not exactly friends.
He said. nothing's changed. don't worry. we're still friends.
If the above statement is true, why are you so scared to look me in the eyes. why are you so scared to even talk to me. why.
We were close friends and too involved in each other's lives.
I'm fine without him. It's never easy and painless at losing a friend. I'll admit. its kinda hard and kinda heart wrenching. But if this time spent apart for both of us to breathe will make things easier later on, I'll give it time. It is hard passing his class. seeing his friends. looking away when i see him. not being able to spend recess with him and the gang like old times. but. i don't like losing friends and burning bridges. and I'll do whatever to save it.
everyone is telling me to forget about it. don't worry. and move on. but the truth, deep down in me. all i feel like saying is that. you're such hypocrites. you're such bad bad bad advisers. forgetting about your problems, moving on and not worrying about them wont solve anything. you're merely running away from it. but like always, no matter how far you run, how long you ran, the truth will always come back to haunt you.
if you're reading this, and you're thinking. she knows what she's supposed to do. so why is she still worrying? .
that's only cause. that's me being me. I'm a worrysome person. i worry about me. about my family. my friends. my everything. for everyone. no matter how hard i try. i cant. and sometimes its good but sometimes. it tires me out.
i'm definitely changing. from the way i think to the way i speak and the way i do things. some of it good some of it bad. i know that i've been neglecting a few things in my life and i need to brush up.
as for friendships, I'll hang on to Yiing, Mich, Amalina and Ian for now. and Andrew. the rest of the people. you're my good friends no doubt about it. for those people who don't believe and trust nor like me and act like their my friends, i'm leaving it to higher power to do the revenge.
don't like me? does it look like i flipping care?
joyce
