Recently, I've been talking to alot of my classmates and i realised. we all face difficult situations in life. some worse than others in terms of difficulty. but to each their own, you cant say anyone's life is easier than your own or harder than your own. you aren't them nor they you. everyone's got their own ups and downs. and we all have our own expectations and realities. dreams and failures. and somehow i feel reassured. i guess. i'm just normal in terms of being a teenager going through potholes and getting up and moving on. or learning how to.
dreams and ambitions. parents have this expectation of their children. some dream of just a peaceful and harmonious life for their kids. other dream of the better life in terms of financial stability. some dream of the jobs they pray their children enter into. but as human as we are, we all have flaws. and occasionally, we overlook the fact that children have the right to choose. we all do. it's a basic human right. to choose and have a choice and opinion on life. our life. our paths to pave and our dreams to recreate. and yes i do not deny the fact that having our parents there to guide us and lead us and give their opinions and spare us from falling out or falling into the wrong paths. but it does not mean you dictate our every move and decision on life. perhaaps you say as a teenager our mental capability isn't as mature or experienced enough to make the right ones. but it is our choice nonetheless to make those mistakes. life is all about learning and how far in our life can you really protect a child from mistakes. how can they learn in that manner.
you cant force a child to be an engineer or a architect or a doctor. it is true that SPM is the big leap unto where our lives will lead and how it'll turn out. but the constant pressure and talks on who we should be instead of just living as who we already are is just utterly uncomfortable. we're clearly capable of knowing the truth on life and how hard it is. we know. years have passed, and slowly but surely, most of us have matured and learnt the truth on work and life. the constant lectures on how to be a PROPER person can be told. but not repeatedly. and what is the definition of a proper person? how can you define a person? people change daily. you cant keep it a square. life's a journey. we're merely a boat in the wild ocean.
sometimes i wonder. if this is all a test. a test of patience. of faith. of hope. of prayer. and of my strength. if it is. i hope i do pull through. i hope i live through all this and look back and see strength. i hope i look back and realise you weren't a missed chance. perhaps only a matter of bad timing. really bad timing.
i miss the feeling of being hugged and held safe.
joyce
