my two months is KL are coming to an end. sigh.
when i first got here on the 31st, i was a lil sad for leaving kk. leaving my friends. and i felt like it was such a mistake coming here so early in my holidays and i should spent more time there with my friends. but now looking back, i dont exactly regret spending time here. i mean. i got closer to my sister mandy alot more, i got a closer bond with gpa, i learned more about my self through church and camp and i learnt more about when to study what and how and why through my cousins hann and na and johnson.
two months here. definitely changed my perspectives of life. and i know somewhere down the road its gonna change again. but change is good. sometimes. not all the time.
i've gotten closer to my childhood friends, Jesh and Sherwin. mostly Jesh. i did some work in church. i learnt more about God. how He works and how He has such wonderful humour and how He shows us His power. i learnt more about my spiritual life and God these two months here. i also got to know some of my friends better. Euodia, Melanie, Charis, Melinda. through VBS and youth camp and church.
two months. i thought it would never end at times. how come it feels like sooooo long. now its only a few days away.
the same thing with this year. i thought i had a long way to go with PMR. my parents constantly reminding me making me feel restless about my studies. well, their lectures definitely paid off! I GOT STRAIGHT A'S!!!!!! thinking about it. i would have never in a million years thought i'd get straight A's. i didnt see it coming at all. when i told Feonna this. she hit me on my arm and went. SHUT UP LA JOYCE. HOW CAN YOU EVER THINK LIKE THAT. i was like. WHAT?!?!?!. hahahahaha. for her. its either A's or nothing. like. cause. well she's bright. like really smart. she's kinda like. the person who sets the bar for me. she scores well. i have to score well too. that kinda thing. i know it sounds stupid. but hey. i need to do well to get somewhere in life!
anyhow, two months feels like a week suddenly. so much has happened and taught my lessons in life.
i'm now currently trying to assemble all my things to pack for home. i'm like. lost in a sea of things. ahahahha. i think i need to go out and get another suitcase. i've got loads of stuff here. its insaneeeee. ahahah.
overall, i loved it here. my friends. church. family. its been an awesome trip. VBS. youth camp. and just being at home reading or doing some studies for form four. how it can change from slow snailed to fast paced in half an hour. how you can go from your pjs to your dress and leave the house for a party even though you were informed only by sms a few minutes ago. ahaha. its all so fast and it can change from that to really slow. where there's nothing to do. ahahaha. its so fun.
i'll miss kl. alot of people asked me why not i stay here with my gpa and my sisters? but i guess i'm still growing. so even if i had a choice i'd probably stick with my parents till i'm done with high school. after that, i'll try flying solo. ahaha. i'm so gonna miss all my church friends. the pj people and the subang people. The E.N.D PARTY is something i'll miss too. sigh. there's always pictures. i know. but not able to be there just sucks. ahahahaah.
love,
joyce
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Die Hard, Live Free.
hey there. haven't been updating this blog lately. no worries. here i am again.
just came back from Youth Camp yesterday. IT WAS SO FUN!
the first day was funny. woke up at 6.30. packed up all the last minute stuff. left the house for church. i felt so excited and scared at the same time. got there. saw jesh and talked to him. and the journey to Fraser's Hill took THREE HOURS. all of us were busy sleeping, talking, playing on the bus. i talked to Jesh. he's really one of those guys you gotta love. as in. friend wise. he's the most awesome guy friend. he knows exactly what i go through and its one thing that makes me smile most. and when we got to the Pines Resort, i saw three tall guys and this happened.
Jesh/Me
look. good looking foreigners.
them?
yeah. why?
*pulled me towards them*
oi
joyce, this is justin. our CAMP SPEAKER.
justin, this is joyce. a good friend.
ohhhh. haha.
and then when i told all my girl friends. all of them were like. *GASP* YOU'RE LYING?!?!
hahahahaaha. it was hilarious. cause no one thought at all he was our camp speaker. we all thought he was someone's friend or something. ahahahahahah.
Justin Wong. Youth Pastor of Chinese Baptist Church in Houston Texas. PJ Woo and Keith Chan. his good friends. absolutely hilarious la the three of them. their so spontaneous and crazy.
after lunch, we had a short briefing and then ice breakers. Ice breakers were hilarious. ahaha. made a couple of new friends. then we had to know what our punishments were. ahah. it was the YMCA dance. so funny cause my cousin Su-Anne looked so enthusiastic doing it. and the rest of the committee weren't. after that, we found out our teams. my team consisted of Jonathan Ng, team leader, Lauren Chia, assistant, Kevin Thomas, old man, Mark Tan, younger old man, Jeshua, Me, Joshua, Janice, Nicholas Lim, Nicholas Hoo, Claudia. we call both nicholas' by calling them Nicholas square. you know math when you have two of something you square it. yeah that square. ahahahaha. their always together so it fits em perfectly. then there's claudia who is the most bubbly, cute and friendly person ever. janice is in form six which is pretty hard to guess since she's so petite. she's very quiet and a chinese ed by the accent. she's really funny too when she talks. joshua is another quiet dude. super quiet. ahaha. the only time we started realising he was there was skit night. when we were rehearsing and he laughed out loud. ahahhahaha. jonathan's a great leader. he prioritises and makes good decisions and he's a nice guy. lauren's funny and very smart too. ahahah.
after we all made friends, we went to our designated rooms. i shared an apartment with Amanda Shiew, Adrienne Lim, Joanne Leong, Raelene Tan, Charis Wong, Euodia Ong, Melanie Lim and me. most rooms had nine but then girls were comparatively lesser this year so we got a lesser amount of people in the room. haha. but it was still very fun. me euodia mel and charis all stayed in one room. we pushed the two single beds together and slept together. haha.
the first session was intense. justin the speaker. he spoke on how us as christians often persieve the thought of: as long as i believe in Him, whatever i do wrong, he'll forgive us and we'll go to heaven. WRONG. in Romans 1:18-32, it says. that even if we believe and when we sin, the wrath of God builds and we will be thrown into Hell. so no matter what we do, how great of a Christian we are, we will go to Hell. because we are Sinners. WE ARE SINNERS. when the session ended, we were all a bit. overwhelmed. thats the word. because most of us thought as long as we have faith in him and trust in him we'll go to heaven. no. we dont. and he said he'll give us the good news the next day. we thought there wasnt good news. haha.
the second day, we had Treasure hunt. It was AWESOME. ahahaha. only cause we were first to finish. we didnt win. we got second but we were first to finish. ahah. our team practically ran from start to finish. ahahaha. our group. well most of our group were really motivated to win. we ran and ran and ran. and it felt really great running. going up the hill and down the hill. ahah. into the forest and running back out. haha. the leeches were everywhere but thankfully, i didnt get any. ahaha. and then we had little time for ourselves to rest and then it was skit night. we had pj on our team but he didnt help out in skit. our skit won second place! haha. surprisingly enough, hann's didnt. i mean. its like a thing for hann to always win skit. haha. but his team did win the Treasure Hunt. the funny thing is that they came in last. So i guess the saying: slow and steady wins the race does explain his winning. ahaha. the next session, justin explained that in order for us to go to heaven not only do we have to be a good Christian, we have to be a disciple of God. that is to follow the scripture always, listen to His voice, and do things according to His will. and most of us do the church thing. we are good in church, obedient, nice to everyone in church and we spend every sunday in church. but once we're outta there, we're different people. it has to be constant. we have to be constant. not different just cause we're in church.
the third day, we had prayer walk which was very calming. we prayed for multiple things. we prayed for World Hunger, every six minutes a child dies of hunger, thats how sad it is; missionaries, to places where the Gospel is banned from being spread and how we can help and how we should spread the Gospel even at our own country; other faiths, meaning other religions; Child Abuse, Child Labour, the Sins that chain us to Satan, and friends and family that are non believers. we prayed and prayed until it started to pour then we went to shower and had dinner. its amazing how when we're there. it seems we're able to jam pack our life with so many activities that teach us how our actions have consequences and how our life in Malaysia is so easy while others are struggling and the rest of the world is crying in pain. and how our mistakes can be forgiven once we confess, ask for forgiveness and repent from our sins. that night, i cried. that night, i felt a pounding in my heart. that night i knew, all the sins i had done. the mistakes. the lies and the traps i had set out. all of it had to be confessed to the Lord. i knew. i cried and cried because i knew. its what He would have wanted me to do. i knew this year i had done many wrong doings. i confessed and prayed for forgiveness. i even apologized to people in church for what i had done wrong. mistreated them even though it wasnt their fault. i thought of my gma. how i used to take her for granted. used to think how she would always be there for me. she would always smile at me, laugh at my chinese and make fun of how fat i am and how she would always pinch my arms and call me chubby. haha. i cried thinking. if i havent had lost her, if she were still here, if she was well. she isn't here. she's with Jesus now. she's happy and healthy with Him and i should be happy. i should learn to move on. but its hard. she was my motivation to study. and now she's my motivation to be a Doctor more than ever. i wanna make her feel proud of me. i wanna let her know that when i become a doctor. all her letters to me and her advice wasn't for nothing. it was for something. i'm worth something. i wasnt a mistake.
the last day, everyone was a bit reluctant to leave. we had all grown so used to each other. so used to having wake up with a bunch of your friends. seeing em all so happy and loud and crazy. but everythings ends in the end. we took pics with alot of people and on the bus down, we were perhaps the only bus to not have anyone throw up. ahaha. we played alot of empire and cho dai di. i didnt play cho dai di. i watched. i might play one day. from all the advice and rules from rick, charis and julian. perhaps. ahahaha. and it was funny cause when the bus arrived in church, everyone ran down from the bus. and i was slow and all with jesh and a few other guys. and joshua, joseph's brother noticed that joseph left his iTouch in the netting area of the seat. ahahahaha. i took it and we told joseph that he might have left his iTouch in the bus. he ran up and halfway there i shouted: hey joseph, does your iTouch look like this? . he was like oh son of a gun. ahahahahahaha. his australian accent is funny.
anyhow, i realize i need to change. not only for myself. but also to be a better person with others and God. i need to learn to be a more serious person in church in school at home. it cant be all play no work. next year, it will be like that. i promise you. i will be better. stronger. smarter.
love,
joyce
just came back from Youth Camp yesterday. IT WAS SO FUN!
the first day was funny. woke up at 6.30. packed up all the last minute stuff. left the house for church. i felt so excited and scared at the same time. got there. saw jesh and talked to him. and the journey to Fraser's Hill took THREE HOURS. all of us were busy sleeping, talking, playing on the bus. i talked to Jesh. he's really one of those guys you gotta love. as in. friend wise. he's the most awesome guy friend. he knows exactly what i go through and its one thing that makes me smile most. and when we got to the Pines Resort, i saw three tall guys and this happened.
Jesh/Me
look. good looking foreigners.
them?
yeah. why?
*pulled me towards them*
oi
joyce, this is justin. our CAMP SPEAKER.
justin, this is joyce. a good friend.
ohhhh. haha.
and then when i told all my girl friends. all of them were like. *GASP* YOU'RE LYING?!?!
hahahahaaha. it was hilarious. cause no one thought at all he was our camp speaker. we all thought he was someone's friend or something. ahahahahahah.
Justin Wong. Youth Pastor of Chinese Baptist Church in Houston Texas. PJ Woo and Keith Chan. his good friends. absolutely hilarious la the three of them. their so spontaneous and crazy.
after lunch, we had a short briefing and then ice breakers. Ice breakers were hilarious. ahaha. made a couple of new friends. then we had to know what our punishments were. ahah. it was the YMCA dance. so funny cause my cousin Su-Anne looked so enthusiastic doing it. and the rest of the committee weren't. after that, we found out our teams. my team consisted of Jonathan Ng, team leader, Lauren Chia, assistant, Kevin Thomas, old man, Mark Tan, younger old man, Jeshua, Me, Joshua, Janice, Nicholas Lim, Nicholas Hoo, Claudia. we call both nicholas' by calling them Nicholas square. you know math when you have two of something you square it. yeah that square. ahahahaha. their always together so it fits em perfectly. then there's claudia who is the most bubbly, cute and friendly person ever. janice is in form six which is pretty hard to guess since she's so petite. she's very quiet and a chinese ed by the accent. she's really funny too when she talks. joshua is another quiet dude. super quiet. ahaha. the only time we started realising he was there was skit night. when we were rehearsing and he laughed out loud. ahahhahaha. jonathan's a great leader. he prioritises and makes good decisions and he's a nice guy. lauren's funny and very smart too. ahahah.
after we all made friends, we went to our designated rooms. i shared an apartment with Amanda Shiew, Adrienne Lim, Joanne Leong, Raelene Tan, Charis Wong, Euodia Ong, Melanie Lim and me. most rooms had nine but then girls were comparatively lesser this year so we got a lesser amount of people in the room. haha. but it was still very fun. me euodia mel and charis all stayed in one room. we pushed the two single beds together and slept together. haha.
the first session was intense. justin the speaker. he spoke on how us as christians often persieve the thought of: as long as i believe in Him, whatever i do wrong, he'll forgive us and we'll go to heaven. WRONG. in Romans 1:18-32, it says. that even if we believe and when we sin, the wrath of God builds and we will be thrown into Hell. so no matter what we do, how great of a Christian we are, we will go to Hell. because we are Sinners. WE ARE SINNERS. when the session ended, we were all a bit. overwhelmed. thats the word. because most of us thought as long as we have faith in him and trust in him we'll go to heaven. no. we dont. and he said he'll give us the good news the next day. we thought there wasnt good news. haha.
the second day, we had Treasure hunt. It was AWESOME. ahahaha. only cause we were first to finish. we didnt win. we got second but we were first to finish. ahah. our team practically ran from start to finish. ahahaha. our group. well most of our group were really motivated to win. we ran and ran and ran. and it felt really great running. going up the hill and down the hill. ahah. into the forest and running back out. haha. the leeches were everywhere but thankfully, i didnt get any. ahaha. and then we had little time for ourselves to rest and then it was skit night. we had pj on our team but he didnt help out in skit. our skit won second place! haha. surprisingly enough, hann's didnt. i mean. its like a thing for hann to always win skit. haha. but his team did win the Treasure Hunt. the funny thing is that they came in last. So i guess the saying: slow and steady wins the race does explain his winning. ahaha. the next session, justin explained that in order for us to go to heaven not only do we have to be a good Christian, we have to be a disciple of God. that is to follow the scripture always, listen to His voice, and do things according to His will. and most of us do the church thing. we are good in church, obedient, nice to everyone in church and we spend every sunday in church. but once we're outta there, we're different people. it has to be constant. we have to be constant. not different just cause we're in church.
the third day, we had prayer walk which was very calming. we prayed for multiple things. we prayed for World Hunger, every six minutes a child dies of hunger, thats how sad it is; missionaries, to places where the Gospel is banned from being spread and how we can help and how we should spread the Gospel even at our own country; other faiths, meaning other religions; Child Abuse, Child Labour, the Sins that chain us to Satan, and friends and family that are non believers. we prayed and prayed until it started to pour then we went to shower and had dinner. its amazing how when we're there. it seems we're able to jam pack our life with so many activities that teach us how our actions have consequences and how our life in Malaysia is so easy while others are struggling and the rest of the world is crying in pain. and how our mistakes can be forgiven once we confess, ask for forgiveness and repent from our sins. that night, i cried. that night, i felt a pounding in my heart. that night i knew, all the sins i had done. the mistakes. the lies and the traps i had set out. all of it had to be confessed to the Lord. i knew. i cried and cried because i knew. its what He would have wanted me to do. i knew this year i had done many wrong doings. i confessed and prayed for forgiveness. i even apologized to people in church for what i had done wrong. mistreated them even though it wasnt their fault. i thought of my gma. how i used to take her for granted. used to think how she would always be there for me. she would always smile at me, laugh at my chinese and make fun of how fat i am and how she would always pinch my arms and call me chubby. haha. i cried thinking. if i havent had lost her, if she were still here, if she was well. she isn't here. she's with Jesus now. she's happy and healthy with Him and i should be happy. i should learn to move on. but its hard. she was my motivation to study. and now she's my motivation to be a Doctor more than ever. i wanna make her feel proud of me. i wanna let her know that when i become a doctor. all her letters to me and her advice wasn't for nothing. it was for something. i'm worth something. i wasnt a mistake.
the last day, everyone was a bit reluctant to leave. we had all grown so used to each other. so used to having wake up with a bunch of your friends. seeing em all so happy and loud and crazy. but everythings ends in the end. we took pics with alot of people and on the bus down, we were perhaps the only bus to not have anyone throw up. ahaha. we played alot of empire and cho dai di. i didnt play cho dai di. i watched. i might play one day. from all the advice and rules from rick, charis and julian. perhaps. ahahaha. and it was funny cause when the bus arrived in church, everyone ran down from the bus. and i was slow and all with jesh and a few other guys. and joshua, joseph's brother noticed that joseph left his iTouch in the netting area of the seat. ahahahaha. i took it and we told joseph that he might have left his iTouch in the bus. he ran up and halfway there i shouted: hey joseph, does your iTouch look like this? . he was like oh son of a gun. ahahahahahaha. his australian accent is funny.
anyhow, i realize i need to change. not only for myself. but also to be a better person with others and God. i need to learn to be a more serious person in church in school at home. it cant be all play no work. next year, it will be like that. i promise you. i will be better. stronger. smarter.
love,
joyce
Thursday, December 10, 2009
talks.
i lost my train on thought on what i was supposed to write about. i was talking to someone but then i got defensive and i shut him off cause i couldnt take it. sometimes. words can be so sharp they pierce right through your heart and stay there for a while. its kinda frustrating. i wish i could be one of those people who have thick skin and all and like. not feel that much pain nor sadness. that would be a bit easier now wouldnt it folks? well. life's not fair. so suck it up and spit it out before it swallows you. sigh. i forgot what i wanted to say. anyhow, miss you kkians. got this reunion thingy in my facebook events. should i go? i dunno. i dont think i wanna dwell nor hold on to my past. we've all changed. sigh.
joyce. anger. confusion. giggles.
joyce. anger. confusion. giggles.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
fat. not flat.
look. i said i'm sorry. argh. nvm. you've always hated me anyways. forget it.
anyways, i went ice skating! aha! it's been awhile since i skated. being on the ice again made me feel like a lil kid. i was so happy. the thought of going made me smile in my sleep.
so back to the start. it was this perfect morning, i woke up at 8.30. was supposed to go to the hospital with gpa but they left early. they left me all alone at home. boohoo? NOT. i dont mind being alone. in fact, i like being alone sometimes. i hear myself loud and clear and no one is there to confuse me or distract me. so after changing and gathering some stuff, went online to update some stuff and watch a episode of Supernatural. Gawd. Jensen Ackles might not be my age. but dang he's good looking. ahah.
and then suddenly. JOYCE FONG. FONG NI TIENG. WHERE ARE YOU???????
i sat up straight in my chair and flew down stairs to see who it was. and lo and behold. my fav cousin. Feon-na. aahaha. love her. she told me once we got into the car, she told me a few neighbours stuck their heads out the window to see who was shouting. i mean. its a lazy monday mid morning and who shouts in a lazy neighbourhood. ahahaha. i was like so embarassed cause now everyone knows my name. nhahahhaha.
on our way to Sunway, in the car, Leon my cousin was reading New Moon, he took so long reading a page and he usually reads very fast. so i was like why you reading so slowly? and his reply made me burst into laughter. like seriously. his reply was: i'm memorizing all the lines so that i can use it on my girlfriend next time. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. so funny man.
when we got there, it was around 12 or so. so we had lunch at Sakae Sushi. we had okay sushi there. nothing out of this world. definitely nothing close to Nishiki back in kk. miss that place with that old japanese man. sigh. anyhow, when we done eating, Na went and take the last few Edamame, the japanese beans, and she sucked on one, then suddenly she threw it down. me and leon were like. Whats wrong? and she was like in shock. i looked at the bean and saw a frozen Maggot right on top of the tip of the bean. i was like. omg. Leon was laughing so hard then he called the waiter which looked like some typical lala guy. and we showed him the bean with the maggot. his expression was priceless. he was like. :O Oh Gawd. ahahahhahahahahhahahahahaha. he took the plate away. so funny. and we got a ten percent discount on our payment. so funny la. ahahah. and only when we walked out of the place, only did my cousin remember than she already ate the beans within. and you know what bugs do to vege right? they eat a lil bit of outside. crawl inside and lay eggs. ahahahahaha. so funny. her face was like. white. aahahhaha.
after that, leon's friend joined us. we went ice skating. so many people la. and then then then. out of all the people from church to see, we see Yumey. like. so perfect right? NOT. its not that i dont like her. i tried to. i smile at her and try to start a convo with her but all she ever does to me is ignore me and push me away with cold stares. its like. what did i ever do to you la? its so unfair. its not like i stole your boyfriend or something. geez la. argh. anyhow, leon was happy to see her. so i just smiled at her. she just looked right pass me. well, it was nothing new. so. i kept quiet la. she was all over him which was very disgusting to watch. but Kirsten was there too. which made things okay again. i like Kirsten. she's such a bubbly funny random friend to have around. she's my fun friend. ahaha.
after skating a while, they needed to dry and shave the ice. it was gonna be 45 minutes before we could skate again and we've already skated for more or less an hour and a half. so we moved out. sher min was hungry and na wanted some pancake typa food so leon suggested Waffle World. after half an hour of walking around and not finding it. we gave up and bought Auntie Anne's and Famous Amos. apparently, the love birds share the same taste in food. which is really sweet. ahah.
the bowling alley was sorta full. we met up with Patricia, Feon-na's best friend. and her brother. Wilbur. and his friend. which i have no idea whats his name. haha. after a while of watching them bowl, Leon couldn't wait any longer and paid for both him and Na to play. haha. he kept betting on himself and na on who could score most. it was hilarious cause Na was playing lazily and he was playing with such passion yet na was winning. ahahahahahaha.
after that we joined my aunt, Na's and Leon's mom, to shop. Topshop. MNG. Dorothy Perkins. Miss Selfridge. Guess. it was fun. ahahaha. Had Tony Roma's for dinner. i liked the beef ribs. it was nice. ahaha. and the desert was pretty cool too. ahah.
after that, went home with em. it was fun la. all in all. haha. hope i get to skate again soon sometime.
peace out,
joyce
anyways, i went ice skating! aha! it's been awhile since i skated. being on the ice again made me feel like a lil kid. i was so happy. the thought of going made me smile in my sleep.
so back to the start. it was this perfect morning, i woke up at 8.30. was supposed to go to the hospital with gpa but they left early. they left me all alone at home. boohoo? NOT. i dont mind being alone. in fact, i like being alone sometimes. i hear myself loud and clear and no one is there to confuse me or distract me. so after changing and gathering some stuff, went online to update some stuff and watch a episode of Supernatural. Gawd. Jensen Ackles might not be my age. but dang he's good looking. ahah.
and then suddenly. JOYCE FONG. FONG NI TIENG. WHERE ARE YOU???????
i sat up straight in my chair and flew down stairs to see who it was. and lo and behold. my fav cousin. Feon-na. aahaha. love her. she told me once we got into the car, she told me a few neighbours stuck their heads out the window to see who was shouting. i mean. its a lazy monday mid morning and who shouts in a lazy neighbourhood. ahahaha. i was like so embarassed cause now everyone knows my name. nhahahhaha.
on our way to Sunway, in the car, Leon my cousin was reading New Moon, he took so long reading a page and he usually reads very fast. so i was like why you reading so slowly? and his reply made me burst into laughter. like seriously. his reply was: i'm memorizing all the lines so that i can use it on my girlfriend next time. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. so funny man.
when we got there, it was around 12 or so. so we had lunch at Sakae Sushi. we had okay sushi there. nothing out of this world. definitely nothing close to Nishiki back in kk. miss that place with that old japanese man. sigh. anyhow, when we done eating, Na went and take the last few Edamame, the japanese beans, and she sucked on one, then suddenly she threw it down. me and leon were like. Whats wrong? and she was like in shock. i looked at the bean and saw a frozen Maggot right on top of the tip of the bean. i was like. omg. Leon was laughing so hard then he called the waiter which looked like some typical lala guy. and we showed him the bean with the maggot. his expression was priceless. he was like. :O Oh Gawd. ahahahhahahahahhahahahahaha. he took the plate away. so funny. and we got a ten percent discount on our payment. so funny la. ahahah. and only when we walked out of the place, only did my cousin remember than she already ate the beans within. and you know what bugs do to vege right? they eat a lil bit of outside. crawl inside and lay eggs. ahahahahaha. so funny. her face was like. white. aahahhaha.
after that, leon's friend joined us. we went ice skating. so many people la. and then then then. out of all the people from church to see, we see Yumey. like. so perfect right? NOT. its not that i dont like her. i tried to. i smile at her and try to start a convo with her but all she ever does to me is ignore me and push me away with cold stares. its like. what did i ever do to you la? its so unfair. its not like i stole your boyfriend or something. geez la. argh. anyhow, leon was happy to see her. so i just smiled at her. she just looked right pass me. well, it was nothing new. so. i kept quiet la. she was all over him which was very disgusting to watch. but Kirsten was there too. which made things okay again. i like Kirsten. she's such a bubbly funny random friend to have around. she's my fun friend. ahaha.
after skating a while, they needed to dry and shave the ice. it was gonna be 45 minutes before we could skate again and we've already skated for more or less an hour and a half. so we moved out. sher min was hungry and na wanted some pancake typa food so leon suggested Waffle World. after half an hour of walking around and not finding it. we gave up and bought Auntie Anne's and Famous Amos. apparently, the love birds share the same taste in food. which is really sweet. ahah.
the bowling alley was sorta full. we met up with Patricia, Feon-na's best friend. and her brother. Wilbur. and his friend. which i have no idea whats his name. haha. after a while of watching them bowl, Leon couldn't wait any longer and paid for both him and Na to play. haha. he kept betting on himself and na on who could score most. it was hilarious cause Na was playing lazily and he was playing with such passion yet na was winning. ahahahahahaha.
after that we joined my aunt, Na's and Leon's mom, to shop. Topshop. MNG. Dorothy Perkins. Miss Selfridge. Guess. it was fun. ahahaha. Had Tony Roma's for dinner. i liked the beef ribs. it was nice. ahaha. and the desert was pretty cool too. ahah.
after that, went home with em. it was fun la. all in all. haha. hope i get to skate again soon sometime.
peace out,
joyce
Friday, December 4, 2009
to my sister, Charlotte.
hey.
i know i haven't been the perfect sister. perhaps i never will be. but i tried.
growing up as a toddler, i thought you were my only sister. you were always there with me to try new things. and you played some very memorable tricks on me that are forever embedded in me. you were always someone i looked up to. you were always Daddy's lil girl. always. no one could take that title or place from you.
when i grew older, you once told me i was a orphan mom and dad adopted because i was so different from the family. i cried and hid in my room. i thought that it was true. you called me gullible and from that day on i not only learned not to trust everything someone says but i, too, learned a new word. i always tried to be like you. smart, talented in sports and active and charming. you lit up the room. always the chandelier in the room. i used to follow you around and pester you. i just wanted so badly to be as great as you were. when we moved back to kk, i made you angry countless times cause i wanted to be like you in school. you were powerful and such a important person.
i felt this pressure to be like you. so i read your diary. thinking back, it was perhaps the stupidest thing i could have done. why? because i learned that i was such a terrible sister. how much you hated my presence and how much you wanted me gone. when i closed that book, i put it back but i left it so obviously in a way someone had touched it. you scolded me and hit me for reading it. you taught me yet another lesson. to give someone personal space and privacy. it meant a great deal to someone and you should respect it.
when i entered high school, everything shook me. i was a nobody yet once again. in primary school, i was always the golden girl. the good student. the teacher's pet. but in high school, you're just another fry in the sea of fish. when my sisters told me to change. i never listened. i remained as headstrong and stubborn to prove them wrong. i was who i was. that was what i believed. when i entered high school, my sister had just finished high school. all these years i've been listening to endless stories on highschool i was so anxious to know what it felt like. the first days of high school were groundbreaking. not only was i humbled by the enormous change but you were there to explain why it was that way and how it was gonna be. thinking back, if you weren't there to guide me. i'd still that lost fry in the sea of fish. somewhere along the way, we grew accustomed to each other. we started being nice to each other. then mom decided to throw us in a room together. not only did i find out that i talked in my sleep, i also found out how nice and great you were. from time to time you did show me who's boss and i acknowledged it. i learnt so many things about you and myself. when i didnt know what to do, you told how and when and where. at times, i was such a bitch and i didnt know and you told me and you put me in place. you straightened me up. at times when i took the hits for you, i knew i was just trying to replace the hits you took for me too. i never forgot how much you took for me when mom or mich was angry at me. i never forgot.
and then this year. we lost gma. and something in me changed. something in me was broken. and then when we came back, everything was harder. school. friends. you. mom. dad. everything. and then we started fighting again. when you called me the bane of your life. it hurt. because it made me think i was back to that place again. to that spot where you hated me presence. it made me cry and write those posts about you. you were my confidante. if i didnt tell you, i'd blog about it. when people asked me whether everything was okay at home, i'd say yeah it was fine. but i guess you and me both know that's rather far from the truth but it could have been worse. we were blessed enough to have just enough and a lil more. we weren't rich like our friends but we were well to do. you were always the one warning me about spending money.
somewhere along the way you made friends in college that i may have liked because they were downright nice but in some ways i didnt agree with. but all in all. I love you. I loved how you were never scared to stand out in a crowd. i loved how you were always ready to take the plunge. I loved how you managed to stay on top of things when it seemed like everything else was falling apart. I loved how at times of vulnerability, you managed to toughen up and save the day. I love you for who you are. you may seem shallow and stupid at times, but i know its an act. perhaps one you've perfected but no matter who you are or who you turn out to be, you're my sister. and I love you. cause you're you.
love,
joyce
i know i haven't been the perfect sister. perhaps i never will be. but i tried.
growing up as a toddler, i thought you were my only sister. you were always there with me to try new things. and you played some very memorable tricks on me that are forever embedded in me. you were always someone i looked up to. you were always Daddy's lil girl. always. no one could take that title or place from you.
when i grew older, you once told me i was a orphan mom and dad adopted because i was so different from the family. i cried and hid in my room. i thought that it was true. you called me gullible and from that day on i not only learned not to trust everything someone says but i, too, learned a new word. i always tried to be like you. smart, talented in sports and active and charming. you lit up the room. always the chandelier in the room. i used to follow you around and pester you. i just wanted so badly to be as great as you were. when we moved back to kk, i made you angry countless times cause i wanted to be like you in school. you were powerful and such a important person.
i felt this pressure to be like you. so i read your diary. thinking back, it was perhaps the stupidest thing i could have done. why? because i learned that i was such a terrible sister. how much you hated my presence and how much you wanted me gone. when i closed that book, i put it back but i left it so obviously in a way someone had touched it. you scolded me and hit me for reading it. you taught me yet another lesson. to give someone personal space and privacy. it meant a great deal to someone and you should respect it.
when i entered high school, everything shook me. i was a nobody yet once again. in primary school, i was always the golden girl. the good student. the teacher's pet. but in high school, you're just another fry in the sea of fish. when my sisters told me to change. i never listened. i remained as headstrong and stubborn to prove them wrong. i was who i was. that was what i believed. when i entered high school, my sister had just finished high school. all these years i've been listening to endless stories on highschool i was so anxious to know what it felt like. the first days of high school were groundbreaking. not only was i humbled by the enormous change but you were there to explain why it was that way and how it was gonna be. thinking back, if you weren't there to guide me. i'd still that lost fry in the sea of fish. somewhere along the way, we grew accustomed to each other. we started being nice to each other. then mom decided to throw us in a room together. not only did i find out that i talked in my sleep, i also found out how nice and great you were. from time to time you did show me who's boss and i acknowledged it. i learnt so many things about you and myself. when i didnt know what to do, you told how and when and where. at times, i was such a bitch and i didnt know and you told me and you put me in place. you straightened me up. at times when i took the hits for you, i knew i was just trying to replace the hits you took for me too. i never forgot how much you took for me when mom or mich was angry at me. i never forgot.
and then this year. we lost gma. and something in me changed. something in me was broken. and then when we came back, everything was harder. school. friends. you. mom. dad. everything. and then we started fighting again. when you called me the bane of your life. it hurt. because it made me think i was back to that place again. to that spot where you hated me presence. it made me cry and write those posts about you. you were my confidante. if i didnt tell you, i'd blog about it. when people asked me whether everything was okay at home, i'd say yeah it was fine. but i guess you and me both know that's rather far from the truth but it could have been worse. we were blessed enough to have just enough and a lil more. we weren't rich like our friends but we were well to do. you were always the one warning me about spending money.
somewhere along the way you made friends in college that i may have liked because they were downright nice but in some ways i didnt agree with. but all in all. I love you. I loved how you were never scared to stand out in a crowd. i loved how you were always ready to take the plunge. I loved how you managed to stay on top of things when it seemed like everything else was falling apart. I loved how at times of vulnerability, you managed to toughen up and save the day. I love you for who you are. you may seem shallow and stupid at times, but i know its an act. perhaps one you've perfected but no matter who you are or who you turn out to be, you're my sister. and I love you. cause you're you.
love,
joyce
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