have you ever wanted something so bad but the moment you've got it, someone else comes along and ruins it for you? i'm having a few of those moments this year.
State Level English Debate. haha. yeah i made it all the way to state. haha. after two and a half years worth of reading, talking, researching, typing and writing, not to mention hours of fighting and insults, we finally made it that far. to be honest, competition in KK is crazy tough. Each school team knows the opponent teams. and that makes it that much harder and more competitive. The phrase 'ignorance is bliss' is where it really shows. ahahah. unfortunately, after someone's blunder of anger, we lost to Sung Siew, Sandakan. the only thing i can say is that we had a really good learning experience. and to those of you who are from Sung Siew and reading this, i have to say that your school put up an awesome fight against us. and i wish your team the best. really.
Love. haha. yeah i'm actually gonna talk about it again without mentioning which one. it makes your people who actually read this wonder who. pffft. so busy body. :P haha. anyhow. well, to be perfectly honest, i'm jealous of her to the max. i know she's never had one. but it doesn't give her any right to leave you hanging every time. but since you're so hung up on her. go ahead. she comes from a place reknown for pain and nothing less than six degrees of drama anyway. aside from him, there's you. gawd. you say i'm your number one girl. then what is she? my replacement? seriously? my guess is you really dont know what love is and you think by being a fwb is cooler. haha. you have no clue do you? and then there's you. at first, it was really awesome. the way we'd flirt all day and night. but now it's getting really weird. are we really just like flirt buddies? or is there something more? and are you game for more?
friends. to be perfectly honest, i like the way things are now. i get to jump all over place. and the lalas aren't too bad at the moment. i mean aside from the occasional miscommunication. ahahaha. i know you guys have some twisted friendship going on. but to be honest, from the outside looking in, it's hella lot worse. you guys hurt each other all the time with no apologies at all. and i see tears and disappoint but of course neither sides will fess up so why bother right? but still. its sad to see such friendships going on. it seems kinda fake right now. not that i'm sayin any of you are, you guys are really awesome individuals. but i do see some of you getting hurt. and it's saddening really.
dreams. i think we all should wake up and realise we've got only ourselves to help us. us and God. and no one else. everyone else in our else will be temporary. i know i sound evil saying that. it's as if i'm ungrateful but it's true. everyone else will use and throw us away. i'm getting it everyday. but i just smile. our dreams are up to us to make happen. depending on anyone else is just a huge mistake. really. our friends are only there for us to help guide us. not make our pathways. thats for us to make happen.
yes i'm in the sad angry jealous mode. hahah. deal with it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=herLMUn2-U0 dance crazy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWiwuiT58Yc makes me hopeful
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fzv3BfO0Xc makes me smile
sometimes the truth is ironic
joyce
