new found respect.

Have you guys ever loved your family member but never really respected them?
As in. okay. Since they are our loved ones, you say the occasional I love you and Happy Birthday and get all happy for their achievements and stuff but do you really really love em?

trurh be told, my relationship with my sisters weren't always this nice. it probably still isn't but its better than what it used to be.

the age gap between me and my eldest sister is about eight years. but since i'm a late baby. you can say its nine years apart.

me and her. we never really got along. mostly just avoided each other. when she had great news i would be happy for her. when i had great news she'd be happy for me. but any other than that, we just pretty much just avoided each other. i remember how we used to get into fights with each other just cause we started talking to each other. it used to happen all the time.

as i got older, we were far apart. i never really tried talking to her and she never tried. we did the usual 'hey how you doing? oh is that right. okay.' thing where we just go our separate ways and do our own stuff. we never really interfered in each others life.

but these couple of months, we've been getting along much better. talking, laughing and sharing. pretty much like how it should have been.

and i realize. how great a person she really is. She's smart, caring, talented, open minded, slightly crazy, strong willed, independent and a great great Christian. oh and i forgot to mention PRETTY. hehe. she's been through alot without guidance. she pulls through tough situations with just a few friends and herself. after all these years of being around, never once did i think that she's a nice person. in my mind, it was always negative comments of her. i never tried to love her. i guess a part of me just wanted to be like her. successful. everyone smiles when you mention her name. you know how they always say : Girls just wanna be her and Boys just love her. The IT girl. you could say that that's how i think of my sister now. not that i'm saying that she's perfect. she has her flaws too but her flaws used to be all i saw. not her passion for God, or her good deeds or anything. she took two degrees and finished them with perfection. she took her Masters in Psychology and got into second upper which is pretty good already. i guess. in a way. she's helped me be who i am today. she pushed me to be a better person. a better Christian. a better sister. a better friend. when you do something wrong around her, she'll either laugh at you in a good way or she'll scream her head off at you and make you correct it and promise her you wont do it again. so yeah. in a way she is strict. but when she's in a good mood, you're bound to have fun around her. unless she doesn't like you. hehe.

since coming here. i realize how much i miss my kk people. their all crazy bubbly and not shy. i miss you guys alot. now what do i dooooo. hahah.

thoughts and rants,
joyce