to you, trying to act macho. trying to be someone else. it wont hide the fact you're lying to yourself more than everyone else. we all see through it. you're trying to be this person that none of us like. not your siblings not me not anybody. the people who are falling for you barely know the fact that love hurts and lust only lasts that long. and everyone in town knows you're the kiss and tell type. and yet they go ahead. why? simple. cause they have no dignity whatsoever. you're proud of it? yeah we know. you're filled with so much pride you fail to see.. the only person who you'll be hurt badly in the end is you.
it hurts to know the person you thought you could trust is a liar. a compulsive one. one that never says the same thing twice. constantly changing and never as loyal as they seem.
it hurts to know the person you thought you knew is someone you dont have a clue about. they say everything you want to hear. then walk away. leaving you wondering if you have any sense of rational at all.
it hurts to know when the person you truly care about is in pain. obviously right? wanna know what hurts more? when even the comfort and hugs you offer doesn't soothe them one bit.
it hurts when you hear everything you've been dying to hear, but it came just a little too late.
it hurts when the one you thought could fall in love with you was already in love with someone else.
it hurts when you think you have everything under control and you figure out everything's a lie.
it hurts when you think everyone's your friend and you find yourself alone and desolate in the middle of a crowd you thought were your friends.
what truly hurts? when you're in a relationship with someone who's in love with someone else, and you're too blind to see it.
what hurts more? trying to salvage a relationship thats already in ruins.
getting everyone to hate him/her doesnt help anyone at all.
finding yourself in one of the situation above?
wake up love. it isn't the end of the world. the world ends when you call it to.
your life is yours to make happen. you stop calling the shots? then everyone else calls them for you. your parents, your friends, your enemies, your worst nightmares and your life. by then, it'll all go spiraling out of control and the only people you ought to say sorry to are your parents because you positively owe them everything. every single bit of you. even if you dont like them any more than you dont like smelly socks.
luckily enough, life goes on. like it or not. it does. the world spins while you're lying down on the floor crying your lungs out. the days go on while you're fantasizing on your what ifs and what not. the nights go out faster while you lie in bed thinking of why not me.
Life is what you make of it. destiny, chance, fate is all up to you. it's all out there? are you willing to wake up, smell the coffee, the roses and the toast to see, smell, jump and grab them? are you willing to stop all the self pity and try it out for a chance? are you willing to get out of that hole you've gotten so comfortable in to just get a brand new shot at life? life and it's undeniable roller coaster ride?
i would. what you think i'm got the perfect life? FOR PETE'S SAKE, I DONT HAVE ONE. what you think i wrote all this from a book? from a song? from a movie? I WENT THROUGH MOST OF EM MYSELF. geez louise. I'M HUMAN TOO. urgh.
i've made tonnes of mistakes. mistakes i wish i could take back. mistakes i only wish i had never done. people i wish i had never hurt. words i wish i had not spoken of. chances i wish i had gotten hold of. mistakes that hurt more than i could possibly describe.
do i cry? do i regret? well, yeah.
but now, all i can do is avoid making the same mistake twice. all i can try to do is make them right no matter how hard or far off it may be. all i can try to do is make new opportunities for myself to be better and try harder at getting it right again.
is it possible? hell yeah. i've done several of them right.
the main question is. Do you want to make them right? Do you want to grab hold of your life again? Do you want to get up and get another chance at it?
if its yes, what the hell are you waiting for?
sometimes it's hard. sometimes it's tough. sometimes it downright cruel.
but you've gotta be better than everything else.
so go ahead. try it.
joyce
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