I just thought my holidays would be peaceful. One where I could study and sleep in peace.
Life tends to do the exact opposite to me.
An old friend once told me, always keep your head high even when you're feeling lowest cause you don't know what will strike at you.
Have you ever felt parental pressure? The pressure you get when your parents speak highly of you to others, and when they smile at you and say: I hope you'll become better as you grow. and you smile back but inside you're shivering in fear with the thought of them finding out your doubts and insecurities.
I once spoke to a group of my friends and found that most of them have this fear but they overcome it by just ignoring the fear and just living their lives. More than often, I find my friends living up to their dreams and they seem happy. but soon after, i also find out that they don't usually make their parent's happy.
This is where the lines blur. Are we supposed to live our lives to be happy and content with ourselves, or where we live to please our parents and make them happy in order for us to be happy? or can we actually achieve both? if so, why is it so hard?
Then again, Life is filled with unexpected choices and often disappointing results.
I'm terribly sorry this article is so messed up. I'm a teenager. hahah.
That reason should suffice your thought.
My plans for December would definitely consists of having fun. November has been a thoroughly messed up and screwed over month. Having chicken pox and being pushed around and stepped on was not at all pleasant nor was it a good memory to keep.
Drinks with friends. Outings with sister. Outings with friends. and to lose some chubs. :P
Goodbye November~
Hello December! :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I thought I had you all figured out
Every generation has a different set of musicians and artists. from Backstreet Boys to Madonna to Rod Stewart and the Beatles. To Taio Cruz and Usher to Taylor Swift and Ke$ha to Daughtry and Lady Antebellum.
so why is it so hard to accept new artists? why do we have to tear down all the other artists? i mean music is subjective. it's why there are so many genres to music. It's not possible for the entire universe to all have to same taste towards the same type of genre of music. it's not logical. we're all different. therefore we have different taste. so why cant we just accept the fact one man's meat is another man's poison? because that's the truth.
Artists today like Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber or Katy Perry are being shot down and criticized as if they've done something offensive worldwide.
Personally, i find it insulting when someone proclaims that they love a certain artist, and the other person says: Please grow up. I find it really insulting. who are you to judge and call out the fact they need to grow up just cause they like that certain artist?
when my dad was a teen, he had Rod Stewart to look up to. and he still looks up to Rod Stewart to sing along to now. so are you gonna tell my dad to grow up? like seriously?
Music is an open topic. It's a subjective thing. No one has the right to force or coerce you into a certain genre or limit you to a specific artist. Music is your right. No one else in your life has a right or say in your liking of music. nor do you in anyone Else's.
Personally, I love taylor swift. and no i am definitely not her biggest fan in the world. but i adore her. she sings songs that we can relate to. yeah we know it's mostly about love but HELLO we are teenage girls. we're in high school. and our lives practically revolve around love, friendship, difficulties and obstacles. and if you haven't noticed, its one of the major stages in life for all women. so having songs we can sing along with and listen to lyrics which spell out how we feel is soothing. and it helps us unconsciously or consciously.
so yes, music. it's yours and yours alone. dont go blotting on others. just mind your own.
haunted,
joyce
so why is it so hard to accept new artists? why do we have to tear down all the other artists? i mean music is subjective. it's why there are so many genres to music. It's not possible for the entire universe to all have to same taste towards the same type of genre of music. it's not logical. we're all different. therefore we have different taste. so why cant we just accept the fact one man's meat is another man's poison? because that's the truth.
Artists today like Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber or Katy Perry are being shot down and criticized as if they've done something offensive worldwide.
Personally, i find it insulting when someone proclaims that they love a certain artist, and the other person says: Please grow up. I find it really insulting. who are you to judge and call out the fact they need to grow up just cause they like that certain artist?
when my dad was a teen, he had Rod Stewart to look up to. and he still looks up to Rod Stewart to sing along to now. so are you gonna tell my dad to grow up? like seriously?
Music is an open topic. It's a subjective thing. No one has the right to force or coerce you into a certain genre or limit you to a specific artist. Music is your right. No one else in your life has a right or say in your liking of music. nor do you in anyone Else's.
Personally, I love taylor swift. and no i am definitely not her biggest fan in the world. but i adore her. she sings songs that we can relate to. yeah we know it's mostly about love but HELLO we are teenage girls. we're in high school. and our lives practically revolve around love, friendship, difficulties and obstacles. and if you haven't noticed, its one of the major stages in life for all women. so having songs we can sing along with and listen to lyrics which spell out how we feel is soothing. and it helps us unconsciously or consciously.
so yes, music. it's yours and yours alone. dont go blotting on others. just mind your own.
haunted,
joyce
Differences
The thing is. I don't miss you anymore.
haha. so my friends have planned this big reunion tomorrow. The ironic thing is. she posted this up on Facebook today. Just today. She thinks we're all free as birds with no restrictions. we're not. we all have our things to do ya'll. hahaha. i meant that in a good way. no offence to anyone.
hmm. I don't have a good feeling about these reunions. I mean. Yeah, it's great to keep company and keep bonds strong between old friends. but we've all changed and in a huge way. The last time we spent more than hours together was when we were all in primary school. It's almost the end of our high school years. We're seniors next year. It's our last year in school next year. How many of us can possibly hold good friendships? Close friendships?
Friends aren't permanent. They are exactly as our lives are. And unless you find someone with the same frequency of change, the same click of mind and the same passion of life, they aren't your friends, those are soul mates. and I'm not talking about marriage. I believe soul mates are those you stay up late at night laughing the night away and spilling your guts out to. yeah you do it sometimes with your partner but with your soul mates, they end your sentences for you and they make you laugh all the time. and maybe sometimes the worst of times. which make them the best. those are the soul mates. not your friends.
your friends are those you keep with you, but not as close as your partners or your soul mates. your friends dont know you. neither do they really want to.
unfortunately, i had to learn this the hard way. time after time.
I have a new found appreciation for love and friendship. haha.
Trust. now that's hard to come by anymore.
trust no one but yourself and God.
haha. so my friends have planned this big reunion tomorrow. The ironic thing is. she posted this up on Facebook today. Just today. She thinks we're all free as birds with no restrictions. we're not. we all have our things to do ya'll. hahaha. i meant that in a good way. no offence to anyone.
hmm. I don't have a good feeling about these reunions. I mean. Yeah, it's great to keep company and keep bonds strong between old friends. but we've all changed and in a huge way. The last time we spent more than hours together was when we were all in primary school. It's almost the end of our high school years. We're seniors next year. It's our last year in school next year. How many of us can possibly hold good friendships? Close friendships?
Friends aren't permanent. They are exactly as our lives are. And unless you find someone with the same frequency of change, the same click of mind and the same passion of life, they aren't your friends, those are soul mates. and I'm not talking about marriage. I believe soul mates are those you stay up late at night laughing the night away and spilling your guts out to. yeah you do it sometimes with your partner but with your soul mates, they end your sentences for you and they make you laugh all the time. and maybe sometimes the worst of times. which make them the best. those are the soul mates. not your friends.
your friends are those you keep with you, but not as close as your partners or your soul mates. your friends dont know you. neither do they really want to.
unfortunately, i had to learn this the hard way. time after time.
I have a new found appreciation for love and friendship. haha.
Trust. now that's hard to come by anymore.
trust no one but yourself and God.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
ohmygosh. it's november
The speed of light. If man could keep up with it, they would be God.
With a blink of an eye, it's November. and not only is it November. it's the end of November. it's already 25th of November. holy crap.
How did we get here? like seriously.
So how's life? hmm. let's see.
Recently, I got this little virus called Varicella Zoster. sound familiar? it's chicken pox.
when i first found out, i was like. HAHAHAAHAHA.
I'm sixteen. oh well. if you exclude the fact it isn't my birthday. haha.
It was all over my body. and they are kinda like little bubbles on your skin. think blisters and you'll understand. went to the doctor's and the first thing
The Doctor asked me: how old are you? aren't you a little old for chicken pox?
my first thought: WHATTHEHELL?!
but oh wells, a week and a half later, i'm alright and all healed. except for scars.
I believe this is the worst part of having chicken pox. It's the scars they leave behind. and for the ones that have popped, they leave HOLES in your skin. yup, i said it. Holes. not scabs or scars. but holes.
i think i need new heels. like crazy high black heels. i saw one from Nine West. drop dead beautiful with a price to match. RAWR i need to get back to singapore and snag those heels i saw. argh.
have you ever wondered why you fit into another family better than your own? i've felt that way several times. i seem to get along with a few other families better than my own. but i guess living with them 24/7 is a whole other story. sigh.
well, more from me soon.
living it up with music,
joyce
Cobra Starship: The City is At War
With a blink of an eye, it's November. and not only is it November. it's the end of November. it's already 25th of November. holy crap.
How did we get here? like seriously.
So how's life? hmm. let's see.
Recently, I got this little virus called Varicella Zoster. sound familiar? it's chicken pox.
when i first found out, i was like. HAHAHAAHAHA.
I'm sixteen. oh well. if you exclude the fact it isn't my birthday. haha.
It was all over my body. and they are kinda like little bubbles on your skin. think blisters and you'll understand. went to the doctor's and the first thing
The Doctor asked me: how old are you? aren't you a little old for chicken pox?
my first thought: WHATTHEHELL?!
but oh wells, a week and a half later, i'm alright and all healed. except for scars.
I believe this is the worst part of having chicken pox. It's the scars they leave behind. and for the ones that have popped, they leave HOLES in your skin. yup, i said it. Holes. not scabs or scars. but holes.
i think i need new heels. like crazy high black heels. i saw one from Nine West. drop dead beautiful with a price to match. RAWR i need to get back to singapore and snag those heels i saw. argh.
have you ever wondered why you fit into another family better than your own? i've felt that way several times. i seem to get along with a few other families better than my own. but i guess living with them 24/7 is a whole other story. sigh.
well, more from me soon.
living it up with music,
joyce
Cobra Starship: The City is At War
Friday, August 20, 2010
it's been a while. a long time.
today. friday. 20th of august. i've decided to blog.
haha. life. it's a funny thing. life. it has a way of twisting and turning. going up and crashing down. making you laugh hysterically and cry like a baby.
friendships. they seem to come and go. friendship were meant to last. forever. but it seems as though they only last a few years. and after that, they seem to slowly fade away. you talk for three months. then three weeks. then three days. then three hours. then three smses. and then you stop talking altogether. and often i wonder. does it just happen to one side of the friendship? or both? and if its both, why doesnt anyone make a move? why do we have this mentality of not taking the high road and constantly awaiting other people to move before we move and confess? why not grab the opportunity, why not take a risk? why not take the plunge? why not? why do we stand and wait and time passes by and changes all things now into the past?
love. from good to bad. once again, due to poor thoughts filled with doubt, i lost my salmon. hahahahahahaha.
interact. installation night. YAY.
oh wow. this does take a while. i've lost it.
loving you,
joyce
haha. life. it's a funny thing. life. it has a way of twisting and turning. going up and crashing down. making you laugh hysterically and cry like a baby.
friendships. they seem to come and go. friendship were meant to last. forever. but it seems as though they only last a few years. and after that, they seem to slowly fade away. you talk for three months. then three weeks. then three days. then three hours. then three smses. and then you stop talking altogether. and often i wonder. does it just happen to one side of the friendship? or both? and if its both, why doesnt anyone make a move? why do we have this mentality of not taking the high road and constantly awaiting other people to move before we move and confess? why not grab the opportunity, why not take a risk? why not take the plunge? why not? why do we stand and wait and time passes by and changes all things now into the past?
love. from good to bad. once again, due to poor thoughts filled with doubt, i lost my salmon. hahahahahahaha.
interact. installation night. YAY.
oh wow. this does take a while. i've lost it.
loving you,
joyce
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
i'm fine
I haven't been blogging in about a month. it's been a crazy one. everything from exams to fights and misunderstandings to me losing a close friend.
I lost Alex. that's what i lost. We were the closest of friends from January till may 15th. hahaha. how sad. five months.
the truth? we were never dating. we never dated. we were just close friends. whether you believe it or not.
and because of one word from me. i think. right now. today. we're not exactly friends.
He said. nothing's changed. don't worry. we're still friends.
If the above statement is true, why are you so scared to look me in the eyes. why are you so scared to even talk to me. why.
We were close friends and too involved in each other's lives.
I'm fine without him. It's never easy and painless at losing a friend. I'll admit. its kinda hard and kinda heart wrenching. But if this time spent apart for both of us to breathe will make things easier later on, I'll give it time. It is hard passing his class. seeing his friends. looking away when i see him. not being able to spend recess with him and the gang like old times. but. i don't like losing friends and burning bridges. and I'll do whatever to save it.
everyone is telling me to forget about it. don't worry. and move on. but the truth, deep down in me. all i feel like saying is that. you're such hypocrites. you're such bad bad bad advisers. forgetting about your problems, moving on and not worrying about them wont solve anything. you're merely running away from it. but like always, no matter how far you run, how long you ran, the truth will always come back to haunt you.
if you're reading this, and you're thinking. she knows what she's supposed to do. so why is she still worrying? .
that's only cause. that's me being me. I'm a worrysome person. i worry about me. about my family. my friends. my everything. for everyone. no matter how hard i try. i cant. and sometimes its good but sometimes. it tires me out.
i'm definitely changing. from the way i think to the way i speak and the way i do things. some of it good some of it bad. i know that i've been neglecting a few things in my life and i need to brush up.
as for friendships, I'll hang on to Yiing, Mich, Amalina and Ian for now. and Andrew. the rest of the people. you're my good friends no doubt about it. for those people who don't believe and trust nor like me and act like their my friends, i'm leaving it to higher power to do the revenge.
don't like me? does it look like i flipping care?
joyce
I lost Alex. that's what i lost. We were the closest of friends from January till may 15th. hahaha. how sad. five months.
the truth? we were never dating. we never dated. we were just close friends. whether you believe it or not.
and because of one word from me. i think. right now. today. we're not exactly friends.
He said. nothing's changed. don't worry. we're still friends.
If the above statement is true, why are you so scared to look me in the eyes. why are you so scared to even talk to me. why.
We were close friends and too involved in each other's lives.
I'm fine without him. It's never easy and painless at losing a friend. I'll admit. its kinda hard and kinda heart wrenching. But if this time spent apart for both of us to breathe will make things easier later on, I'll give it time. It is hard passing his class. seeing his friends. looking away when i see him. not being able to spend recess with him and the gang like old times. but. i don't like losing friends and burning bridges. and I'll do whatever to save it.
everyone is telling me to forget about it. don't worry. and move on. but the truth, deep down in me. all i feel like saying is that. you're such hypocrites. you're such bad bad bad advisers. forgetting about your problems, moving on and not worrying about them wont solve anything. you're merely running away from it. but like always, no matter how far you run, how long you ran, the truth will always come back to haunt you.
if you're reading this, and you're thinking. she knows what she's supposed to do. so why is she still worrying? .
that's only cause. that's me being me. I'm a worrysome person. i worry about me. about my family. my friends. my everything. for everyone. no matter how hard i try. i cant. and sometimes its good but sometimes. it tires me out.
i'm definitely changing. from the way i think to the way i speak and the way i do things. some of it good some of it bad. i know that i've been neglecting a few things in my life and i need to brush up.
as for friendships, I'll hang on to Yiing, Mich, Amalina and Ian for now. and Andrew. the rest of the people. you're my good friends no doubt about it. for those people who don't believe and trust nor like me and act like their my friends, i'm leaving it to higher power to do the revenge.
don't like me? does it look like i flipping care?
joyce
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
you win some and you lose some. i won~!
This year started off with a bang. I had made friends with someone unexpected and there goes rumors blazing a fire in the woods. I had gotten a call from a teacher asking me to fill in as a third speaker a week before the debate competition started. I had gotten into a rough patch with two friends and one close friend. I joined the public speaking competition and won. In approximately two days, i'm flying to KL for the Help University Debate Competition. I will be third speaker, Akmal second speaker and Marco as Prime minister. In about four days, Our mid term exams will start.
I have already four haters. They hate my guts and i did absolutely nothing about it. pretty unusual if you ask any of my friends.
I have raging temper issues. yet. its April and i haven't lost my temper. how amazing.
I rarely wear skirts. I've worn more of them this year than in my entire life time.
I rarely let my hair down. I've let my hair down more than my entire life combined.
I've rarely cried so much. I've been crying alot. tearing up. not exactly wailing.
I started a diary. and reading it makes me laugh about how sad and incredibly fun and sadistic my thoughts truly are.
I've changed into a person. i'm not too sure i'm comfortable with this new me. she's different from the old me. i cant tell whether i'm a better person or worse and just waiting for a disaster to happen.
lost in the sea of lies,
joyce
I have already four haters. They hate my guts and i did absolutely nothing about it. pretty unusual if you ask any of my friends.
I have raging temper issues. yet. its April and i haven't lost my temper. how amazing.
I rarely wear skirts. I've worn more of them this year than in my entire life time.
I rarely let my hair down. I've let my hair down more than my entire life combined.
I've rarely cried so much. I've been crying alot. tearing up. not exactly wailing.
I started a diary. and reading it makes me laugh about how sad and incredibly fun and sadistic my thoughts truly are.
I've changed into a person. i'm not too sure i'm comfortable with this new me. she's different from the old me. i cant tell whether i'm a better person or worse and just waiting for a disaster to happen.
lost in the sea of lies,
joyce
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