installation night was much more fun cause i met new people. haha. i think.
i dressed up. wore make up and heels with my hair down and all. shocked nick speechless. ahaha. his face was priceless. mahathir's and izzat's as well. hahaha.
cut my hair and now i have a fringe. not much difference but whatever la. ahha. its there.
i met a few people. mostly michelle's church friends. their really nice people. :D
had fun with nick too. we left the ballroom to catch some air along the coastline. i took my heels halfway. it got a bit tiring. it was fun to feel the grass and the sand. very refreshing. we talked and hung out. he's a really nice guy. like a brother to me. not the way gina, daniel and cheryl made it out to be. haha.
lia was the emcee for the night. she did a good job! haha. and her dress was nice. she has the curves so she flaunted em. i guess some of us have to just live with the fact with we dont have such nice curves. hehe.
mich introduced me to her friends. carmen -pretty carmen- i met her at michelle's party back in september but we didnt really talk much. haha. brian -dude with accent- he's half danish. haha. it explains the humor and the accent. a nice guy. very funny. joshua. i dunno. didnt really talk to him or talk alot. leonie? i have no idea how to spell her name! ahah! but she's a ton of fun! haha. andrew. pretty boy? yeah pretty much. didnt really talk to him much too.
the way the night ended wasn't too nice. since it was pretty much all screwed up. i dunno why but i have this aching feeling. there's this tension between lia and gina against mich. its like. i dunno. very forced friendship. i dunno la. maybe its just me. being all paranoid.
michelle seck. all i can say bout this girl is that she's amazing. she's nearly flawless. physically. she's pretty. although she claims she's fat. i say otherwise. if she's fat what am i ? ? ? she's tall, slim and pretty. argh. sometimes i'm soooooo jealous of her! she's smart. 4s4. that was when she didnt try. if she tried i'm pretty sure she'd be the same class as CKM. she's also a slight fashionista. always dressed to impress. although she claims its comfort clothes, it looks great on her. she's a great friend too. always there for you when you fall. always cheering you up when you're down. she's also someone you wouldnt wanna cross or upset. she'll snap your neck in two. literally. but then again thats a up factor. thats why i love her! ahha. she's also a great person to watch movies with. ahahah. and share juicy gossip with. hehe. oh and i nearly forgot. if you ever need someone to go shopping with, she's definitely my number one choice! ahahahaha! all in all, she's one FANTABULOUS person and thats why she's one of my closest friends! no matter what people may say, she's a great person. and you haters, you got nothing nice to say? say nothing at all!
all in all, installation night was awesome. i made new friends and got closer to my old ones.
in reminiscence of you,
joyce
Sunday, October 25, 2009
mistakes.
fantasies. fantasies. fantasies.
their just thoughts. dreams that'll never come true.
i should have realized what i believed was just a fantasy. i should realized before i got myself this deep.
the important thing is that i realize it now. you're just my friends. you aren't my type. i'll never be yours either.
it was just my silly fantasy.
i'm sorry.
joyce
their just thoughts. dreams that'll never come true.
i should have realized what i believed was just a fantasy. i should realized before i got myself this deep.
the important thing is that i realize it now. you're just my friends. you aren't my type. i'll never be yours either.
it was just my silly fantasy.
i'm sorry.
joyce
Monday, October 19, 2009
your own perspective.
I woke up this morning. early. or rather early for me.
the whole point of waking up early was to get to school early. BUT. because of my dad i got to school late. like ten minutes later than my initial plan.
ran from my car all the way to class to find wen yiing gone. i was like ohmycrappers she didnt.
i walked really quickly to tanya's class. while there was a certain distance. i calmed myself down. was so freakin nervous could barely hear myself breathe.
when i was near to their class, then i realized. i was frowning. then i saw tanya. i smiled and whispered in a soft barely audible voice. I'M SO FREAKING NERVOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
wen yiing was standing with jeremy. i smiled and yiing and jeremy. Yiing quickly left to join tanya and they started some imaginary conversation. after i said what needed to be said. i looked at him. I was soooooo scared you have no idea. never in my entire life has a moment like that scared me. usually talking to people is my forte but this time it was outrageously creepy.
i'm so glad i said it. really. all this while, all i've ever been living with is this guilt of knowing that i hurt so many people. so many good friends that shouldn't have been hurt that way. they didnt deserve it. and he was on that list. I was such a stuck up, outspoken, pain in the ass person i would have hated me. i probably still am that person a bit. but i've changed. i kept that side of me in check.
and yeah charlotte might go yeah right. but ce you have no idea. you think you do but you dont. and for christ sake, you aren't all that bright. when you say you act stupid, i just think you are cause after acting that for so long it becomes of you whether you like it or not. too bad but oh so sorry i'm definitely not sad you are that way. :D
After talking to Ben the other day. i realized. i am not in love with you. i thought i was but truthfully. i'm not. the person i fell for isn't really you. the person i portrayed isn't you. and i dont think there is a person the way i described out there in this big big world. i thought you were perfect. but. i forgot. you're only human. you have flaws too. i still love you. but not more than just friends. today. when i saw you. you seemed real. because i finally snapped out of it. because i'm seeing you for you. you're nearly perfect for any lucky girl out there. but to me you're just my friend. my awfully good looking, smart and sensitive friend.
I realise that i may be too soft hearted towards people who dont deserve it. when i treat people nice, they step all over me and push me to the edge. when i treat them cold and mean, they get all silent and break into pieces. i'm like. what is the matter with you?. argh. but i dont care anymore. you. you have issues. you better get them resolved or i'll kill you with words i swear.
very busy week. argh.
you probably wont believe me but. i'm actually going to interact installation night!
me?. ahahahahahahahaaha. weird rite? i know.
i think thats about it. it should be about it. need sleep.
love ya hotties,
joyce
the whole point of waking up early was to get to school early. BUT. because of my dad i got to school late. like ten minutes later than my initial plan.
ran from my car all the way to class to find wen yiing gone. i was like ohmycrappers she didnt.
i walked really quickly to tanya's class. while there was a certain distance. i calmed myself down. was so freakin nervous could barely hear myself breathe.
when i was near to their class, then i realized. i was frowning. then i saw tanya. i smiled and whispered in a soft barely audible voice. I'M SO FREAKING NERVOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
wen yiing was standing with jeremy. i smiled and yiing and jeremy. Yiing quickly left to join tanya and they started some imaginary conversation. after i said what needed to be said. i looked at him. I was soooooo scared you have no idea. never in my entire life has a moment like that scared me. usually talking to people is my forte but this time it was outrageously creepy.
i'm so glad i said it. really. all this while, all i've ever been living with is this guilt of knowing that i hurt so many people. so many good friends that shouldn't have been hurt that way. they didnt deserve it. and he was on that list. I was such a stuck up, outspoken, pain in the ass person i would have hated me. i probably still am that person a bit. but i've changed. i kept that side of me in check.
and yeah charlotte might go yeah right. but ce you have no idea. you think you do but you dont. and for christ sake, you aren't all that bright. when you say you act stupid, i just think you are cause after acting that for so long it becomes of you whether you like it or not. too bad but oh so sorry i'm definitely not sad you are that way. :D
After talking to Ben the other day. i realized. i am not in love with you. i thought i was but truthfully. i'm not. the person i fell for isn't really you. the person i portrayed isn't you. and i dont think there is a person the way i described out there in this big big world. i thought you were perfect. but. i forgot. you're only human. you have flaws too. i still love you. but not more than just friends. today. when i saw you. you seemed real. because i finally snapped out of it. because i'm seeing you for you. you're nearly perfect for any lucky girl out there. but to me you're just my friend. my awfully good looking, smart and sensitive friend.
I realise that i may be too soft hearted towards people who dont deserve it. when i treat people nice, they step all over me and push me to the edge. when i treat them cold and mean, they get all silent and break into pieces. i'm like. what is the matter with you?. argh. but i dont care anymore. you. you have issues. you better get them resolved or i'll kill you with words i swear.
very busy week. argh.
you probably wont believe me but. i'm actually going to interact installation night!
me?. ahahahahahahahaaha. weird rite? i know.
i think thats about it. it should be about it. need sleep.
love ya hotties,
joyce
Saturday, October 17, 2009
have you ever felt the need to breathe?
you know how
when you're growing up
you always follow someones lead
or if you're leading you follow the lead
of someone else .
when you grow up
you look back and wonder
why did i do that?
why did i feel that need to do so?
and then the guilt comes running in like water.
thats how i feel.
you know when you
do something that feels so right
and then realize its wrong when its done.
you feel this immense surge of numbness.
thats how i feel.
when i was growing up
i was always under someone else's shadow
i still am.
michelle's sister.
mandy's sister.
charlotte's sister.
margaret's daughter.
jason's daughter.
always under their thumb.
you're constantly squirming.
always fighting.
but just never free.
i guess i'll never know freedom with no lines attached.
i guess its just so.
wonders of the world,
joyce
when you're growing up
you always follow someones lead
or if you're leading you follow the lead
of someone else .
when you grow up
you look back and wonder
why did i do that?
why did i feel that need to do so?
and then the guilt comes running in like water.
thats how i feel.
you know when you
do something that feels so right
and then realize its wrong when its done.
you feel this immense surge of numbness.
thats how i feel.
when i was growing up
i was always under someone else's shadow
i still am.
michelle's sister.
mandy's sister.
charlotte's sister.
margaret's daughter.
jason's daughter.
always under their thumb.
you're constantly squirming.
always fighting.
but just never free.
i guess i'll never know freedom with no lines attached.
i guess its just so.
wonders of the world,
joyce
Friday, October 16, 2009
pass the panadols please...
for someone as smart as me. when it comes to problems like you and you and you. even Albert Einstein would have a heart attack trying to solve the problem.
you think just cause you're older you get to push me around? DAMN STRAIGHT YOU'RE WRONG.
no one pushes me around okay? once in a while if i'm in a good mood, fine. its okay.
but going into my room and trashing it and then calling me a pig is UNACCEPTABLE you moron.
it isnt your room anymore. you cant just move away and still call it yours. you moved in to the new room and now thats your room. the old room is MY room now. wake up and smell the roses. you think i'm the bane of your life? YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY LIFE. YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT. you cant just walk into a room and say its yours just cause you like it. if thats so i would walk into trump tower and call it mine. use your god given brain la please.
you tell me you're some kinda big shot and how you bully people? aw please. the story is getting a bit old aint it? but since your head is so big i just kept quiet and let it continue growing with impatience. while you stomp your way to the top, one day when you're already at the top, i'll be waiting for a person to push you into the ravine and make sure you'll never be able to get up.
karma is a bitch. you said it yourself. now be prepared to face the consequences of your choices.
angry and ready to fight,
joyce
you think just cause you're older you get to push me around? DAMN STRAIGHT YOU'RE WRONG.
no one pushes me around okay? once in a while if i'm in a good mood, fine. its okay.
but going into my room and trashing it and then calling me a pig is UNACCEPTABLE you moron.
it isnt your room anymore. you cant just move away and still call it yours. you moved in to the new room and now thats your room. the old room is MY room now. wake up and smell the roses. you think i'm the bane of your life? YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY LIFE. YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT. you cant just walk into a room and say its yours just cause you like it. if thats so i would walk into trump tower and call it mine. use your god given brain la please.
you tell me you're some kinda big shot and how you bully people? aw please. the story is getting a bit old aint it? but since your head is so big i just kept quiet and let it continue growing with impatience. while you stomp your way to the top, one day when you're already at the top, i'll be waiting for a person to push you into the ravine and make sure you'll never be able to get up.
karma is a bitch. you said it yourself. now be prepared to face the consequences of your choices.
angry and ready to fight,
joyce
part of me screams for joy.
when it finally arrived, the girl screamed for joy and ran towards her gift with squeals of excitement and wonder.
that was my initial reaction towards my freedom. ask my classmates what i did when the teacher finished collecting the papers and they'll tell you i skipped towards the stairs. hehe.
i spent three days in a row out with my friends. its a first for me. usually i'd turn down at least one night due to my parents or my own self control. but this time its like. i felt the rush. the adrenaline rush. and to my surprise my parents didnt mind. as long as i came home before twelve it was fine. a lil like cinderella except my carriage doesnt turn into a pumpkin but my face does turn red. hehe.
later yo,
joyce
that was my initial reaction towards my freedom. ask my classmates what i did when the teacher finished collecting the papers and they'll tell you i skipped towards the stairs. hehe.
i spent three days in a row out with my friends. its a first for me. usually i'd turn down at least one night due to my parents or my own self control. but this time its like. i felt the rush. the adrenaline rush. and to my surprise my parents didnt mind. as long as i came home before twelve it was fine. a lil like cinderella except my carriage doesnt turn into a pumpkin but my face does turn red. hehe.
later yo,
joyce
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
ohmygawd. i miss you!!!!
if there was just one small lil word for the feeling i feel now. one word. it would definitely be.
FREEEEEEEDDDDDOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!
HAHAHA. i'm so happy.
i woke up at five. FIVE a.m. ahaha. too freaking excited for the paper to be over.
i studied until 6.10. then i went downstairs. my parents weren't awake yet. i ate cornflakes while watching mtv breakfast. it was truly my morning fix. hahaha. its my drug. and its legal.
then my mom came down. i drank a lil juice then left for school. 90 percent of my classmates were buzzing about out freedom than to our last paper which was kemahiran hidup. ahahahaha. books were open but none of us were reading.
our favourite invigilator/pengawas came in. me dina and iffa started smiling. she's pretty and she's really graceful. seriously air stewardess ish. and she wears some really nice shoes. nude coloured pumps. obviously new since the price tag was still stuck onto it. didnt wanna embarass her so me and dina giggled silently. she even took our papers earlier. Dylan and all of us screamed when she left our class. MERDEKA or HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
it was all a rush. all we've worked for. the months of confinement. agony. burden. pressure. all released. relieved. let go. i jumped for joy along with everyone else. we were soooo happy.
got home. showered. got ready. went out with mich. one b. darn. we need new places and new things to buy. we went all over but there was like nothing to buy. we ate loads tho. hehehehe. well, comfort is key. ahaha.
we went to harris. found hilarious books and mags. soooooo funny. one book title was SINGAPORE EROTICA. a book on erotic stories by singaporeans. tell you the truth. my conception about singaporeans are. their all very narrow minded. or. their very conventional. very safe and you know like not out there. So you can pretty much guess my expression when i first read the title. my eyes went huge mouth gaped open. ahhahahahahahaa. me and michelle flipped through it and the opening we did was in the center and the story was around a girl named michelle. HAAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHA. sooooo funnny man. the salesgirl thought we were mad. but who cares?!?!
we went for a drink. at Simply Chocolate. the chocolate was nice. the hot chocolate. very soothing and warm. hahaha. spent a dubious amount of time gossiping tho. she left at five. ahahah. i had to wait till seven ish for my mom and sister to join me for dinner. spent my time at starbucks. reading the book me and michelle split. Beach Blondes by Katherine Applegate. its good. its a sequel sorta book. but its good. while waiting, i met two hongkong couples. they were amazed i spoke cantonese. cause at first i spoke english. ahahahahaha. well looks can be deceiving i guess. ahahahaha.
Tomorrow is another busy day for me. Noon i have a vid shoot for youth. Evening i have to hit the gym with mich and vern. Night i might go to Izzat's open house. oh dearie me. ahahahaha.
staying up all night tonight. by all night i mean until 3 or so. heheh.
love ya babe,
joyce
i woke up at five. FIVE a.m. ahaha. too freaking excited for the paper to be over.
i studied until 6.10. then i went downstairs. my parents weren't awake yet. i ate cornflakes while watching mtv breakfast. it was truly my morning fix. hahaha. its my drug. and its legal.
then my mom came down. i drank a lil juice then left for school. 90 percent of my classmates were buzzing about out freedom than to our last paper which was kemahiran hidup. ahahahaha. books were open but none of us were reading.
our favourite invigilator/pengawas came in. me dina and iffa started smiling. she's pretty and she's really graceful. seriously air stewardess ish. and she wears some really nice shoes. nude coloured pumps. obviously new since the price tag was still stuck onto it. didnt wanna embarass her so me and dina giggled silently. she even took our papers earlier. Dylan and all of us screamed when she left our class. MERDEKA or HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
it was all a rush. all we've worked for. the months of confinement. agony. burden. pressure. all released. relieved. let go. i jumped for joy along with everyone else. we were soooo happy.
got home. showered. got ready. went out with mich. one b. darn. we need new places and new things to buy. we went all over but there was like nothing to buy. we ate loads tho. hehehehe. well, comfort is key. ahaha.
we went to harris. found hilarious books and mags. soooooo funny. one book title was SINGAPORE EROTICA. a book on erotic stories by singaporeans. tell you the truth. my conception about singaporeans are. their all very narrow minded. or. their very conventional. very safe and you know like not out there. So you can pretty much guess my expression when i first read the title. my eyes went huge mouth gaped open. ahhahahahahahaa. me and michelle flipped through it and the opening we did was in the center and the story was around a girl named michelle. HAAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHA. sooooo funnny man. the salesgirl thought we were mad. but who cares?!?!
we went for a drink. at Simply Chocolate. the chocolate was nice. the hot chocolate. very soothing and warm. hahaha. spent a dubious amount of time gossiping tho. she left at five. ahahah. i had to wait till seven ish for my mom and sister to join me for dinner. spent my time at starbucks. reading the book me and michelle split. Beach Blondes by Katherine Applegate. its good. its a sequel sorta book. but its good. while waiting, i met two hongkong couples. they were amazed i spoke cantonese. cause at first i spoke english. ahahahahaha. well looks can be deceiving i guess. ahahahaha.
Tomorrow is another busy day for me. Noon i have a vid shoot for youth. Evening i have to hit the gym with mich and vern. Night i might go to Izzat's open house. oh dearie me. ahahahaha.
staying up all night tonight. by all night i mean until 3 or so. heheh.
love ya babe,
joyce
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